Breathe Me
by Ashley Patroclus
Summary: Sam and Blaine are in a happy and exciting relationship - But when the borders of Sam's reality become unclear, will he have the courage to know which life he is actually living? R Rs appreciated.
1. Morning Montage

Welcome to my new project. Breathe Me will be a two week long project for me, culminating in 16 chapters. It will deal with some disturbing content but nothing overtly graphic or visual. The only visual triggers I would place in this story are for sexual situations and will be noted before the beginning of the chapters in which they take place. There will also be a gap between Chapters 7, 8 and 9 because those are the most pivotal chapters in my story and will be released back-to-back. Those 3 chapters should be expected by Sunday night. Please Rate and Review as you can. Thank you much.

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><p>Sam awoke in a sweat – it glistened across his chest and stomach as he shot up as if pulled to consciousness by an unseen figure. The gasp and subsequent heavy breathing awoke the other boy in his bed.<p>

"Another nightmare?" He asked, sympathetically, as he wiped sleep from his eye.

Sam nodded, finally making sense of his surroundings, "Yeah…"

The brunette sat up with him and took his hand, "You're here with me now. You don't have to worry"

Sam could barely remember what the nightmare was even about – it fled his mind so quickly.

"I know. And I'm happy for that," Sam said, his breath now slowed to a normal resting pace.

"Come here," Blaine said, "I'll protect you"

Sam always felt ridiculous when this happened. Blaine was a good three or four inches shorter than him, to be cuddled by someone so much smaller felt odd. But after the nightmares started up some months back Blaine would lay on his back and insist that Sam cuddle him like stuffed animal. The silly thing? Is that it worked. Sam slept soundly through the rest of the night when that happened.

And Blaine did this goofy come hither motion with the closest to Sam. Finding a place between Blaine's chest and his arm, Sam laid his leg across Blaine's groin and laid his arm on top of Blaine's chest, tickled by the chest hair that he found with his fingertips. Blaine wrapped his arm around Sam and breathed in his scent deeply.

"I love you," Blaine said as he exhaled.

With his face buried in Blaine's neck, Sam responded, already groggy, "I love you too"

– – –

The sun decided to find the one hole in the blinds that shot a beam of light right into Blaine's eye. Squinting and yawning, the shuffling woke Sam and both of them did their routine of stretching the sleep out of their bodies.

After the last stretch seemed to pull on forever, Sam laid his head onto Blaine's chest, "Can we just lay here forever?"

Blaine responded through closed eyes, "Well, my parents are back from their business trip today. And we have regionals on Friday…"

"No," Sam responded, drawing out the 'o' in a low, whiny voice. Sometimes Blaine thought it was annoying, but most of the time, like now, he thought it was adorable.

"C'mon mister," Blaine said, shuffling from underneath Sam's massive grasp. Blaine was never sure how they got so tangled up together, but it certainly did not help that Sam was tightening his grip around his body.

"Just five more minutes? Please?" Sam begged, "We don't know when we'll be able to do this again"

Blaine chuckled, "What if I promise to make you breakfast? My mom got some of that bacon you love from the Diemer farm"

Sam all but sprang out of bed at that notion, "Oh my gosh, I'm so hungry"

Blaine planted his feet on the ground and stood up, turning away from the window finally – the sun warming his back, disguising the fact that it was twenty-five degrees outside. Sam stared at him, standing only in boxers, becoming hungry for something other than breakfast.

"Oh no," Blaine said, "No way, we **just** got out of bed."

Sam strode over to him, only in boxer briefs himself, gently tracing his fingers down Blaine's stomach and kissing his neck, "No, Sam, wasn't twice last night enough?"

Between kisses, Sam breathily said, "I could… have you… ten times… and it wouldn't be enough"

Blaine grabbed him by the shoulders, feeling the growth between them tightening their underwear, "Later, babe – You go shower and I'll start breakfast."

Sam had a pout forming on his bottom lip, "Fine. But I definitely am holding you to later."

Blaine put on a pair of sweatpants that he retrieved from the dresser positioned across the room while Sam grabbed his backpack and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

The bathroom had a skylight that made him look pastier than he actually was – As he rummaged through his backpack all he could do was think of Blaine's body and how much it sucked that the morning didn't end happier than he would've liked.

But that's how it's been since the beginning of their relationship. Once Sam realized how he felt about Blaine, he wanted to just lose himself in it. Wrap himself as tightly as he could into the idea of being with him. But Blaine was grounded. Level-headed. All the things that Sam wasn't. Blaine had told him about the gay bashing that caused him to go to Dalton. How him and his boyfriend were both beaten up for merely being together. Maybe that's why Blaine was always cautious of how they acted at school, or making sure they had plenty of time to get ready. Maybe Blaine had grown up too fast while Sam was afforded the luxury of losing himself in someone who was so confident and rooted in reality.

As Sam turned on the faucet in the tub, adjusting the lever somewhere between the frozen tundra and the fires of Mordor, he stripped his underwear off and tested the water with his hand. After finding an acceptable temperature, he stepped in, and though his shoulders and backside adjusted comfortably to the heat, it seemed to scald his ankles and feet.

They were always cold, which drove Blaine crazy – Sam would take his cold bare feet and place them on Blaine's legs or thighs and it was so shockingly cold it wrested any comfort that had settled in when they had laid down to sleep. But it was a subversive tactic that Sam used – because then they would joke and laugh and eventually Blaine became as playful as Sam and then, the rest, as they say, is history.

As Sam fingered the shampoo through his hair, he flashed back to their first kiss. He was so nervous and freaked out. It seemed so silly now that Blaine and him hold hands when they walk down the aisles of the school. Blaine's the nervous one now. Always checking over his shoulder, always making sure the coast is clear. With Santana around, and Finn, and Rachel and …well, even Kurt – There's no one to fear really. Everyone supports them being together. It took Kurt awhile to warm up to the idea, for sure, but Kurt's always seemed more mature than most of the people at McKinley.

The only one still at ends with it was Quinn. Sam still remembers the slap that echoed throughout the halls when she found out. Quinn didn't even give him a full explanation – Something about how everything in her life has been a disappointment and how having a gay ex was another thing to add onto that list. Sam felt his heart drop when he thought of that disappointment. Of hurting her. That was never his intention.

But after he told Quinn, he practically ran to the choir room, Blaine staying after school after the ultimatum – to choose. Sam had chosen. It was all he could do to not stride across the room in a few quick steps. Blaine couldn't say anything before Sam's warmth enveloped him and electricity passed through their whole body.

"Hey babe," Blaine called through the door, "Hurry up, your food will get cold."

Sam snapped back to reality, washed the soap and shampoo still lingering on him and got out. After drying his shaggy head and getting dressed, he walked downstairs, rounded the corner and saw that the dining table was full of scrambled eggs, pancakes and that bacon he loved so much. He set down his backpack, walked to the other side of the table and greeted Blaine with a kiss as his boyfriend set down a pitcher of orange juice.

"It looks great, Blaine," Sam said, "I guess I must've been showering longer than I thought."

Blaine smiled, "I thought you had decided to take care of things without me."

Sam could feel his face turn hot and couldn't think of a witty retort fast enough, so all he could do was sit down while Blaine chuckled at his embarrassment.

"So, uh," Sam said, taking the plate that Blaine had filled with food for him, "When do your parents get home?"

Blaine began fixing a plate for himself, "Around noon,"

Sam checked his cell phone, it was already 11:15 – He didn't think it was already that late, "But that means that we can't…"

Blaine smiled as he took a seat, "Well, they work late on Tuesday – We could play after glee practice."

"You're telling me I have to go two days? A man could die in that time," he pouted.

Blaine raised his eyebrow; "You are cranky when you don't get your way. Cute. But cranky."

Sam and Blaine both eventually agreed that Tuesday was the most logical choice to 'hang out' again, though Sam didn't like it. The rest of breakfast was spent hurriedly chowing down and discussing the upcoming regionals tournament on Friday. Sam wanted to help with dishes and he still had to get out of the house before Blaine's parents got home – They were cutting it close as it was. Sam did what he could do, though admittedly not helping much as Blaine was trying to get him out of the house instead of taking his help.

Finally succumbing to the pressure, Sam dried his hands on a dish towel and grabbed his backpack from the dining room. Blaine walked him to the foyer where his jacket and gloves were hanging. After putting on one of the gloves, Sam couldn't resist touching Blaine's bare chest with the other one last time before leaving.

"Tuesday, huh?" Sam asked incredulously.

Blaine smiled, "Tuesday for sure."

With that, Blaine leaned forward on his toes as Sam leaned just a bit to kiss his boyfriend. When their embrace finally broke, Sam turned on his heel and walked out the door. As he shuffled down the driveway, he felt a vibration in his pocket. Gloves were such a pain. Sam got into his car and took a glove off to grab the cell phone in his jeans pocket.

A text from Blaine: You forgot to say 'I love you' again ;)

Sam smiled, simply responding, "How cruel of me. I love you too"


	2. The Definition

Hope ya'll like chapter two - No reviews on Chapter One, So I'm guessing this story isn't going over well. R&Rs are appreciated but not necessary. There is an 'M' rating for smut in this chapter though - so keep that in mind. Thank you!

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><p>Monday seemed to crawl by at a mind-numbing pace. Every sentence seemed longer. Every class seemed slower. The day crawled even through lunch and Glee – At least Sam got to see his boyfriend. They ate in the choir room – Rachel would talk with Blaine about Broadway and show choir and Sam could talk to Finn about football and video games. It was a good arrangement and Sam was beginning to feel like he finally had a home after bouncing around for his dad's work.<p>

Glee club was getting tighter – the choreography was much improved and the songs were being performed better and better. For once, every thing seemed to be going right, not only in Sam's life, but in New Directions as well.

Tuesday crawled by just as slowly. Sam never realized how monotonous the day was until he started looking forward to his time with Blaine. It was so hard to find that time because they both had two parents at home; Sam had his siblings too – there was hardly a spare moment to be with each other… privately.

Sam had inadvertently come out to his parents a few weeks back when he thought that they would be out with his siblings at a dentist appointment. But a popped tire meant that they put on a donut and turned around until another day – His parents walked in on him lying on Blaine, mimicking something out of Baywatch. They actually took it really well. That was one of the many things he loved about his parents – How understanding they were. And he conceded about the idea of having Blaine over to stay the night. It's true; they wouldn't have allowed Santana or Quinn to stay over either – So that option was out.

At the end of the day, in Glee club (which Sam thought of skipping entirely but a text from Blaine telling him not to stopped him), they sat in the back – Sam's arm slung over Blaine's shoulder. Santana was working with Schuester to hit that perfect note in Adele's song, which meant that him and Blaine could talk quietly to each other.

"So, when can I head over?" Sam asked

Blaine smiled, "Good news, my parents left early. We could walk home together if you didn't bring your car…"

Feeling a rush of happiness, Sam whispered back, "No, both my parents needed cars today. We can definitely go home together"

As Santana finished her solo and they ran through the set a few times; it felt like an eternity before Mister Schuester dismissed them. Sam put on his backpack, already packed for the evening; his parents thinking he's staying over at Finn's because regionals practice was going to be running late. His parents didn't know that the only late night that they had was the night before regionals and even then, late for Glee club was 8pm.

Sam held out his hand, standing there obstinately until Blaine took it. Blaine's reluctance showed through but he knew that Sam wasn't going to move from that spot until their fingers were interlocked. And with gloves on, it seemed silly to Blaine to do it, but he was charmed by the thought anyway. They walked into the blistering cold and set off in the direction of Blaine's house.

"Well," Sam said, looking up at the blue sky, "It may be freezing, but at least it's pretty out."

Blaine looked at Sam, "Some things are prettier than others…"

They stared into each other's eyes, still walking down the sidewalk. Sam was the first to break a smile, "God – that was the corniest thing I've ever heard."

"Shut up, you liked it," Blaine shot back.

And Sam did. Embarrassing each other was a constant goal. Sam was better at it, just because of Blaine's nervousness of public displays of affection. But when Blaine got pop shots in, they were usually pretty good.

It started easily enough one day. It was two weeks after they started dating and Blaine was upset about something that Sam couldn't remember now if he wanted. They were at lunch and Sam tried to apologize but Blaine was unyielding. So, right there in the cafeteria, in the middle of lunch, Sam got out of his seat, walked around to Blaine's seat and got on his knees.

"Sam, what are you doing?" Blaine asked, wide eyed and mildly panicked.

In a loud voice, New Directions and half the cafeteria looking at him, Sam announced, "I have wronged this man of mine! And I will sit here and grovel until he forgives me. Oh Blaine Anderson, I do so apologize for hurting you! Please take me back."

Blaine covered Sam's mouth and said in a whisper, "Ok ok, I forgive you, shush." Sam still hasn't recalled seeing Blaine turn that red since.

They were good for each other in that way though – While Sam was brimming with enthusiasm for public displays, Blaine anchored him in reality… in being safe. And where Blaine was scared to show affection and was afraid to be hurt, Sam helped him cull that, to show pride. This middle ground had made them both feel complete. Like they complimented each other in the most important ways.

The cold was definitely taking its toll – Walking together seemed romantic at the time but now that Sam's face was turning pink with the cold winter air and with even more blocks to go, it didn't seem like such a good idea.

"So," Sam said through chattered teeth, "When do your parents get home tomorrow?"

"We'll have plenty of time to cuddle if that's what you're wondering – They wont be home until after we get to school" Blaine responded, holding his grip tighter.

"Does that mean I get to make you breakfast this time?"

Blaine chuckled, "Last time you cooked you set off my smoke detector."

"You guys use gas! I'm not used to it yet," Sam whined

"If you can promise it wont burn this time, then sure"

"Just you watch," Sam said, "it'll be awesome. My mom watches Martha Stewart on her days off like it's her religion"

The rest of the walk was filled with chatter about homework and the mystery meat they served at lunch. Blaine lamented about a calculus concept that was giving him issues and Sam talked about the death glares he's been getting from Quinn, this week especially.

Before long, they were walking up the drive. Blaine took off one of his gloves so that he could handle the keys with the finesse needed to unlock the door. As Blaine turned the knob, he felt himself turned around quickly, met by Sam's lips. Sam dropped the backpack off from behind him and it hit the floor with a thud before he was aggressively pulling off Blaine's backpack and coat in two swift motions. Blaine was pushed gently backwards onto the stairs that sat next to the foyer. Sam was already shirtless and breathing quickly as they stopped in the middle of the steps.

"What is this still doing on?" he asked before pulling Blaine's thermal up and over his head, not caring that it mussed his hair.

Sam took Blaine's hand and led him up the stairs, kicking off his shoes as he reached the top. They got to Blaine's room and the kissing and pushing started all over again before Blaine all but tripped backwards onto his bed. Sam took this opportunity to pull off Blaine's shoes, followed by his jeans and grabbing his socks off as he pulled in one swift motion.

"I'm guessing you don't want an afternoon snack?" Blaine asked facetiously as Sam laid over him, propping himself up with his hand.

"I know what I'm going to eat," Sam said, noting how horribly awkward and almost pornographic it sounded as it left his lips.

Blaine laughed, "And you think I'm corny…"

Instead of laughing at himself, Sam kissed Blaine deeply and reached through the hole in the front of his boyfriend's boxers, finally not perplexed by the hole's purpose.

Blaine felt Sam's hand working him masterfully and moaned as he fingered Sam's jeans open, pulling the backside past Sam's butt. The moan, stifled by Sam's tongue seemed to reverberate throughout the room. Sam may have been bolder out in public, but in the bedroom, Blaine was definitely more audible. And Blaine's moaning only served to feed Sam's hunger.

Effortlessly, Sam pulled Blaine from the side of the bed up so that Blaine could rest his head on the pillows before he kissed his way down that fuzzy chest he loved so much. When he got to Blaine's stomach, he reached under the elastic of Blaine's boxers and pulled them – Blaine arched his butt to help get the boxers off and Sam flung them somewhere out of sight. And soon, Sam's lips were at work on his cock and Blaine let out a distinct grunt feeling the warmth envelop him.

As Sam worked on him, bringing him close already, Blaine was thankful that they got the whole 'teeth' situation under control. It should seem easy to think, since you have a package that is fragile, that you wouldn't, in fact, let sharp objects near it - But it took Sam a couple times before he actually got it down. Once he did though? Those lips felt like ecstasy. It couldn't have been more than three or four minutes before Blaine was wishing he wasn't some hormonal seventeen year old.

"Sam," he said between breaths, pulling harshly on the blonde's hair, "Sam – Stop… I'm… gonna"

But it was too late, Sam did that thing with his tongue that Blaine loved (but he hated) and his moaning filled the air again as Sam's mouth filled as well. Blaine breathed deeply as the remainders' of pleasure pulsed through his tight body. Sam came up, still barely uncovered from the waist down and smiled.

Blaine covered his face in embarrassment, "I told you to stop!"

"It's ok babe, I wanted you to", Sam said, reassuringly, dragging his fingers along Blaine's stomach.

"Well, what about you?" Blaine inquired.

Sam devilishly raised an eyebrow, "Well, you could go for round two…"

Blaine furrowed his face, "How do you mean?"

Sam rolled over to the bedside table, pulling his jeans and boxer briefs off as he reached into the drawer. He flipped over, lying next to Blaine with condom and lube in hand.

"I'm not sure if I can," Blaine said

Sam chuckled, "It's ok if you can't babe, no pressure, I just want to be with you."

And Blaine didn't feel anything but desire in that one moment, he pulled Sam on top of him while Sam awkwardly figured out how to hold himself up while holding what was in his hands. Blaine took the condom from him, and opened it quickly – rolling it onto Sam and enjoying the shudder that came from him.

"Gimme that," Blaine said, taking the lube from Sam and putting enough into his hand to take control of the gorgeous body in front of him. The lube slid easily across the condom and left Sam burying his face into Blaine's neck. Sam kissed, as if doing so was the only way his body could process the pleasure coursing through his body. Soon, Sam felt Blaine's heels on his backside and was eased slowly but efficiently into his lover.

Blaine now was panting as well, and felt himself growing again. Sam didn't touch yet, merely resorting to gaining a slow but passionate rhythm. Their gasps seemed to alternate; in, out, in, out as Blaine reached his hands up over Sam's neck and loosely held them there – Sam, despite his deep breathing, leaned down and kissed Blaine. The kiss stifled Blaine's moans, sounds being generated from feeling Sam become one with him.

Blaine instinctively craned his neck down and whimpered when Sam took a hold of him again. Blaine hadn't paid attention when they were kissing to notice that Sam had grabbed some lube for his own devious purposes. And soon, Blaine was being pumped in time with Sam's thrusts.

Breathing deeply, Blaine mustered, "I love you,"

"I love you too," Sam said breathily before leaning down to kiss Blaine more.

Blaine didn't know how long they had been at it, but he felt that familiar cliff coming closer. Sam knew that Blaine was close because he could feel the grip from Blaine's legs and his arms become tighter around him and it drove him wild.

"Just go," Sam said, "I want you to"

Blaine gasped, "But, what about you?"

Sam kissed him again to shut him up – And with the right thrust and just the perfect stroke both Blaine and Sam knew it was over. Blaine's toes curled as he spilled out onto his stomach and chest - Sam stopped kissing him, marveling in his boyfriends' perfect face as it contorted with pleasure. Blaine writhed and called Sam's name and said more curse words than Sam had ever heard.

Sam had begun to slow down – this had happened before. Sam would get Blaine off and then not cross the finish line himself. This time, though, Blaine wasn't having it – He locked his legs around Sam and used his hands to grab that gorgeous ass and forced him to thrust.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, still full of airy breaths and glistening with a thin veil of sweat.

"Keep going," Blaine pleaded, "Please."

"It's ok, babe, I don-"

Blaine interrupted, "Please."

Sam nodded and slowly began pumping again, Blaine bringing him down to meet for a kiss. The pace picked up this time – Not slow and passionate, but paced and forceful. Blaine tugged gently on the back of Sam's golden locks, which caused Sam to moan this time. And Sam's breaths became quicker and staggered and louder until Blaine, peering out from closed eyes, could see Sam squinting before feeling succinct, deep and powerful thrusts.

As Sam rode his ecstasy out, pumping as deep into Blaine as he could, all he could muster was, "I love you" through bated breath.

Sam collapsed onto Blaine's chest and they laid there, Blaine running his fingers through Sam's hair. In that one moment, everything felt right. Everything felt flawless. As Sam nodded in and out of consciousness, Blaine adjusted himself to get Sam moving again. Sam pulled out slowly but Blaine still mourned the empty feeling as the condom was taken off and tossed into the wastebasket by the bedside table.

Sam turned from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed to look at Blaine, "Shower?"

Blaine nodded, "Shower."

The rest of the evening went as awesome as the weekend that preceded it. After the boys got clean, they put on sweats and v-necks – Sam brought down blankets to the living room and set up a pile of pillows and cushions across the living room floor while Blaine ordered pizza for them. The upside to having parents that left for business (despite the gratuitous lovemaking) was there was always money for whatever food he could want.

Disney movies played as background noise while they worked on homework and dined on pizza and junk food. When their homework was done, they resorted to all sorts of intertwined and bizarre cuddling positions. Though they played movies they've seen a million times, the thrill came in reciting them together – as different characters and just existing in each other's presence.

– – –

Sam's eyes snapped open, shaking Blaine who fell asleep on top of his chest. Sam was breathing heavily and even through his drowsiness Blaine could hear Sam's heart thumping through his chest.

"Hey," Blaine said, "You're safe. I'm right here."

Blaine leaned up and kissed him and all Sam could do was absentmindedly kiss back. The dream was already escaping him - Likely to be forgotten.

"Mister," Blaine quietly said, "Let's head up to bed, I'll hold you there."

It was already one in the morning and Sam thought it cruel that while the day seemed so long, the evening seemed to fly by quicker than Superman. Blaine groggily led Sam up the stairs after turning off the lights and television.

They turned over the bed, tossing extra pillows to the ground. Blaine got into his usual position, on his back, left arm inviting Sam in. And Sam followed the unspoken command to join him. Sam listened to his boyfriends heartbeat – and despite the panic still coursing through his veins – the sound lulled him back into slumber.


	3. In A Manner Of Speaking

Sam's eyes sprung open. His heart pounded against his chest and as his breath caught up with him, he rolled over and picked up his cell phone that was connected to a power cord. The light seemed blinding – The time read 5:13 on the faceplate. Another hour before he was supposed to be up. He texted Blaine, knowing that he turned it off when he went to sleep, saying, "I wish you were here – Not sleeping well."

Sam knew that without the security of Blaine's heartbeat he wasn't going to get to sleep again. So he forced himself out of bed and grabbed some sweats from his closet. He took Blaine's iPod from his jacket pocket and went out to the living room where his tennis shoes are. They would trade iPods, because even though they had a lot of similar music tastes, Blaine tended to like pop more while Sam leaned towards country. This was there little way of sharing music with each other.

And after Sam got his running shoes on he put the earphones in and began to pound the payment. He knew that he was supposed to stretch, but between P.E. and afterschool sports and Glee club he figured he was limber enough without it. There was music going through his ears but none of the words are registering. The cold air bit at his face but it didn't seem to phase his pace.

A block or two would get his mind back to where it should be. Sam had taken to running when he didn't have the security of Blaine to lull him back to sleep. It was an easy way to distract himself and to get ready for the day ahead.

The sun was coming up over the horizon as Sam turned down the block and headed back the direction he came. The run usually lasted about twenty minutes or so, which gave him enough time to get home and shower. His mind wasn't on sleep or nightmares or even Blaine anymore – He was thinking about regionals tomorrow and how the group seems tighter than ever. It really did feel, for the first time, like they were confident in winning.

Sam rounded the last corner and ran up the driveway back to his house. When he got in, his father and mother were getting ready for the morning. His mom was fixing what looked like waffles on the griddle while his dad was cutting fresh fruit.

"Hey Sam," his dad said, "Out running again? It's cold out there."

"Yeah," Sam said, his voice gravelly with the first words of the day, "Just wanted to wake up before school."

"Well, hurry up and shower," His mom interrupted, "Your breakfast is almost ready."

Sam smiled – As he walked down the hall, he stripped off his sweatshirt before running into Stevie. Quite literally, Stevie wasn't watching where he was going and collided right into Sam's thigh.

"Whoa there, Where's the fire?" Sam asked.

"Sorry Sam," he said, "Mom said to hurry up because she had to take Stacy to daycare before she took me to school."

"Well, get going then!" Sam said, pushing his brother gently on the back of the head.

Sam grabbed some clothes from his closet and took a quick shower. If he was lucky, he could get out before his mom left and that would mean he could have the car for the day. It was awful getting into a hot shower though and telling himself that he had to hurry up – He could stand under the jets of water for hours just thinking to himself. Just standing there. But not today. He really wanted the car.

After he hopped out, not entirely convinced he was completely clean, he put on some jeans and an old t-shirt, which he covered with his favorite hoodie. Socks. Check. Shoes. Check. He looked into the mirror and glanced at his reflection, placing his puffy hair meticulously so that it would fall just perfect as it dried throughout the day.

When he put the clothes in the dirty clothes hamper, he picked up his phone from the floor where he left it. A text message from Blaine, "I'm sorry Sammy, I wish I was there with you too."

Sam smiled back, "Don't walk to school. I'm coming to get you."

And he shoved his phone in his pocket, walked briskly into the kitchen with his backpack in tow just in time to find his mom grabbing the keys off a nail hanging on the door.

"Mom, wait," he said, "I'll take them."

She turned on her heel, "But you haven't even eaten…"

Sam grabbed a waffle off of the table, pulled his backpack on and pulled the keys from his mom's hands, "Thanks mom"

Before putting the waffle into his mouth he looked at his siblings, "C'mon brats, let's go."

His brother and sister cheered as they grabbed their backpacks next to the doorway as he strode over. His mom stood, leaning on the kitchen entryway, "I want the car back by five, so I can pick them up."

"Mom, Glee club, regionals tomorrow." He said, pleading in his eyes.

She rolled her eyes, "You're such a pain in my butt. Fine. I'll take your father to work."

Sam ran over to his mom and kissed her on the cheek, "Thanks mom, You're the best."

She smirked, "Mmhmmm, Tell Blaine I said hi."

His mom couldn't see his face turn red as he was walking out the door, but she was sure that she got the job done.

– – –

"Get in, loser, we're getting coffee."

Blaine smiled as he got in, "Wow, quoting Mean Girls… sort of."

"You know me," Sam said, before leaning over to kiss him, "I love movies almost more than I love you."

"Good grief, you never stop being corny do you?"

"Nope," Sam said.

Sam was happy to steal any time he could with Blaine. Even if it was just a half an hour before school, it was worth it to him. Blaine didn't seem to mind either. Blaine paid for coffee despite Sam's insistency that it was his idea. And they talked about their day and how practice was going to be brutal that evening.

Sam parked in the lot and they walked, hand in hand, together to the school – Since they had different first period they had to part in the hallways.

"If you can sneak it, text me… like a lot." Sam said.

A smile crawled across Blaine's face, "Fine – but don't get in trouble. We don't need detention the night before regionals."

Sam leaned in and kissed Blaine, despite Blaine leaning back just a bit instinctively. The kiss was just a peck but Sam and Blaine could feel the eyes on them from all angles. All Sam could do was smirk and turn around. They went to their classes and things remained mostly uneventful.

– – –

That is, until the break between 4th period English and lunch. As Sam walked down to the cafeteria, Quinn came at him from the opposite direction boring holes into his head with her eyes.

He wasn't sure what took a hold of him, maybe it was that regionals were tomorrow and he wanted a cohesive team, but he couldn't take it any longer. Sam strode across the hall and stopped directly in front of her.

"Ok Quinn," he said loudly, "I don't know what the hell your problem is, but I'm over your little death glares all the time"

Quinn simply stared at him.

"I mean it," he continued, "What the hell did I do to piss you off so much?"

"You really don't know?" Quinn said, narrowing her eyes, "All you did was fight off gay rumors when you got here. You barely said anything to me after you started dating Blaine. People talk, Sam, they think I was your beard."

Sam furrowed his brow in frustration, "And, what? You believe them?"

Quinn tilted her head, "You tell me, Sam, you're the one dating another man."

"I've been dating him for almost four months now. Why couldn't you have talked to me about this sooner?"

"So, you **were** using me…"

Sam dropped his anger in that moment. Instead he pulled her gently over to the side of the hallway, "No, Quinn."

Quinn looked shocked, narrowing her eyes in disbelief.

"It's true," Sam continued, "I really did care about you. I **do** care about you. And just because I'm with Blaine doesn't mean that my feelings for you were false."

Quinn exhaled, looking off to the side.

"Look, you can believe me or not," he went on, "But I can't handle you being mad at me for something I can't change."

Sam could see Quinn's resolve fade with that comment, "You could've told me you were gay."

Sam smiled, "Bisexual."

Quinn half smiled, "Bisexual, whatever. But you should've said something sooner."

"I told you as soon as I was ready that I wanted to date Blaine. I couldn't have told you anything sooner."

"Fine," Quinn said, lightening her voice, "But I'm still mad at you Sam Evans."

She clutched books to her chest and walked passed him, Sam turned around as she strode down the hall, "No you're not!"

Quinn responded without looking back, "Yes, I am!"

With a stupid grin on his face, Sam walked to the cafeteria to silence the grumbling coming from his stomach.

– – –

Practice was grueling. Sam didn't think they could go over the numbers any more before their legs would fall off and their lungs would collapse. It was nearly 8:45 when Schuester called it quits.

Sam was exhausted. All of New Directions was. After they were dismissed, Sam and Blaine walked quietly to the car. The conversation was slow and dragged on – not through any fault of their own, but since Sam was up since five he didn't feel anything but sleep want to overtake him. He kissed his boyfriend goodbye and drove home to loud music, so that he didn't fall asleep.

When he got home, he didn't bother with dinner, instead, going straight to his bedroom and slowly pulling on pajamas. When he went to plug the phone into the wall, he saw one text, from Blaine, "You forgot to say I love you… :P"

Sam mustered a grin and replied, "How silly of me, I love you."

And his face met the pillow.


	4. Set Fire To The Rain

This is an important chapter - but it wont become clear until later. I want to thank everyone for sticking with me through this with me. I'm using this as a personal therapy so it means a lot that you're all still reading this. Rates and Reviews are always appreciated.

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><p>Sam didn't sleep well that night either. Tossing and turning through the night, regionals played through his head over and over. If they were going to lose, Sam didn't want a false dance step or an off pitch note to cost them the competition - Not when they were so close to victory this year they could taste it. So whenever a nightmare would wake him up, instead of texting Blaine, he would run through the whole routine in his head.<p>

When his restlessness became too much to deal he finally got up out of bed. After a shower, he dressed in the New Directions outfit picked out for this year and tied the lime green tie to seal it off. His hair fell in his face just perfectly, as it always seemed to do. Sam walked downstairs and started on breakfast. Today his dad would take his brother and sister and his Mom would grab Blaine and take them to school.

Breakfast went smoothly enough, though his mom got irritated a few times for humming the songs they were going to be using over and over again. Once his siblings were packed up and his dad had left the house, he helped his mom quickly clean the dishes and the table so that they could be on their way. The killer thing about regionals is that, since it was held on a Friday, the New Directions got to skip all their classes and go straight to the competition.

The drive to Blaine's seemed slower than usual, maybe because Sam's mom was such a careful driver. But it didn't really matter if they were on time today so Sam wasn't particularly worried. When they got to Sam's, he shot Blaine a quick text and the boy came shuffling out. Sam thought Blaine looked better in the suit than he did but it didn't matter to him.

"Hey," Sam said, getting out of the coupe so that Blaine could get in the back.

Blaine went to get in but Sam stopped him, taking him by the shoulder and kissing him before he pulled away and said, "Good morning, Blaine"

Blaine, though a little shocked, smiled, "Good morning, Sammy."

As he got situated in the back and put on his seatbelt, he looked at Sam's mom, "Hello Mrs. Evans, how are you?"

"I'm great Blaine," she said, "And how are you? Excited for the competition?"

Blaine nodded as Sam pushed the seat back and got in, "I am. I'm also a little nervous for it. I really think we can win this time."

"Then why are you nervous?" she said, finally pushing on the gas.

"He's facing his old choir group, The Warblers" Sam said

"Oh," she said, with a tone of sympathy, "Are you ok with that?"

Blaine nodded, though she couldn't see from her seat, "Yeah, they're all really good guys. I see them every so often still. It's just a bummer that only one of us can advance to Nationals."

Sam's mom pulled off on the way to school to grab the boys coffee. Blaine always felt sort of bad when Sam's mom would do stuff like this because they didn't have a lot of money. Blaine actually protested the first time it happened and Sam's mom wouldn't hear anything of it.

"_If money is so hard for us to come by,_" The words echoed in Blaine's head, "_Then you must be pretty important to use it on, eh_?"

Ever since then, Blaine has done his best to push the guilt from his mind. It was ridiculous too, he tried to order around it, by ordering a small, and Sam's mom would get him a large anyway. In that way, he saw a lot of his Mom in Sam. It was only another five or so minutes to school and when they got dropped off, they went straight to the choir room. It was surprising to see, that despite being late by almost ten minutes that they weren't the last one in the room.

Sam strode in, Blaine at his side, "Who are we waiting on?"

"Brittany and Santana, and then we can get out of here." Finn said, Rachel fussing with his tie.

"Gay people time," Kurt said, practicing a particularly difficult dance move, "None of us can be punctual."

Everyone chuckled at that, As Santana and Brittany walked through the door. Schuester rounded all the students up and led them outside, bags in tow. They loaded up on the bus and set out for regionals.

– – –

The bus had been moving for about an hour at this point and everyone was sort of lulling to sleep. Blaine and Sam were wide awake thanks to the coffee that they had earlier. The group however, wasn't doing so well.

"Look at Tina," Blaine said, "She's totally drooling."

Sam looked back - Sure enough, there was drool, though not a lot, dripping out onto Mike's shoulder.

"This bus is just dead right now," Sam said, "I guess everyone is still exhausted."

Blaine grimaced, "We should perk them up somehow, we're not too far from the convention center and then we go on an hour after that."

"What did you have in mind?"

Blaine smirked, "Just - back me up alright?"

Blaine stepped into the bus aisle and the people who were awake all looked at him.

Blaine licked his lips before he began singing lyrics that sounded familiar to Sam. Blaine was secretly hoping that he knew the song. It took a second before Sam realized it to be Life Is A Highway. He only knew all the words because the Rascal Flatts did a cover of it last year and it became really popular. He's not sure he would've known it other wise.

Up and down the aisle Blaine went, singing the lyrics to the song while Sam provided a beat with his lips making it sound almost hip-hop. Soon the New Directions joined in one by one and those who were asleep were woken up to sing-along as well.

As the song came to a close, the group was energized again. Feeling alert, everyone took turns singing songs and taking solos

– – –

When they arrived at the convention center, Schuester led them in like a shepherd. New Directions were looking all about - They were competing against ten other groups today and there was a lot of competition to be found.

"Alright, We go on in an hour, I want everyone in Warm-Up room B in 30 minutes. I'm serious." Schuester said before heading to the registration desk.

Everyone split up in different directions but Sam stayed hooked to Blaine when he saw a tall brunette boy approaching them.

"Blaine Warbler," he said, "It's a shame we couldn't get you back - It's going to be a big bummer when we're at Nationals without you"

Blaine cocked his head with a grin, "Aw, c'mon Sebastian, You know that New Directions beat the Warblers last year, right?"

Sebastian smiled a toothy grin, "Yeah, well, I wasn't in The Warblers last year. And Vocal Adrenaline is here. Tough competition."

Sam felt a pang of frustration, "Yeah, well, we've beat both teams before. This wont be any different."

"Oh hey, Blonde McJagger," Sebastian noted, with a definite arrogant tone, "You guys are still together?"

Blaine hooked his arm, elbow to elbow, with Sam, "Yup, Happily."

"Shame." Sebastian countered, "Well, good luck, you guys... You're gonna need it."

Sebastian turned on his heel and walked away, likely joining the Warblers. Blaine could see that Sam was red in the face, "I don't know why you're friends with him - It's obvious he wants you."

Blaine took Sam's hand, "He's harmless. I only have eyes for you Sam. I promise, there's nothing to worry about."

"I don't trust him," Sam said, "He rubs me the wrong way."

"Oh, I get it," Blaine responded, turning to face Sam, "You're intimidated that he's cuter than you..."

Sam's face drooped for just a second before he saw Blaine's goofy smile, "He is *not* cuter than me."

"Are you sure?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, that's it," Sam said, pulling Blaine to him very close, so that their lips were just barely not touching, "I am the hottest guy here Blaine and I wont be beat out by some preppy, skinny boy who looks like he's been perpetually sucking on lemons."

Blaine raised his eyebrow, "I'm glad you finally realized it."

Blaine leaned in to kiss him, right there, in the middle of the foyer. Some people were staring, including Sebastian, who hadn't gone as far as they had originally thought. Sam was surprised, it was unlike Blaine to not only make the first move, in public, but also to be so brazen about it. Sam could only guess that this was a display to show how serious Blaine was about this whole ordeal. When they broke from their kiss, Blaine took Sam's hand and they walked around the convention center, looking at the other groups and seeing all the colleges there to recruit bright upcoming stars. The different kiosks and counters were filled with information but there wasn't much time to look. Sam made a mental note of which booths that Blaine seemed to take a particular interest in so that they could come back after the performance. But for now, Sam looked at his phone and knew that they had to be in the warm up room soon.

Sam showed Blaine the time, and then, holding onto his hand tightly, they jogged together to the room. When they got there, again, they weren't the last ones into the room. Finn and Rachel were missing. Sam figured it was because she was looking at schools or scouts or whatever else offered her the promise of being a big star. Schuester began warm ups and ran through the basic scales on the piano as Finn and Rachel finally came through the door with Finn in tow.

Rather than do the choreography in such a small room, they simply ran the songs to make sure that they were pitch perfect and that everyone was on cue for all of their parts. At this point, Sam figured, it didn't matter - if they didn't have it by now they didn't have it. That's why, as warm ups were coming to a close, he didn't feel that normal pang of nervousness when he was about to go on. The team worked their butt off, there was nothing they could've done differently at this point to change the outcome of the competition.

Schuester brought them into a circle, "Alright guys, this is it, you have this - don't let anything stop you now. That trophy is yours, right?"

And everyone put their hands up and yelled in agreement. Sam took Blaine's hand and they walked through the door that connected to the auditorium to the practice room. This was the first time New Directions was on first, since they were the previous years champions. They were about to set the tone for how the rest of the competition played out. Sam dropped Blaine's hand and walked to his spot a few paces away. They looked at each other fondly before the curtains came up to signal the start of their performance.

– – –

They sat in the auditorium for the big threats. Vocal Adrenaline was powerful, as always, and their choreography was tight, but they always seemed to lack a certain passion that a lot of the other groups exuded. The Warblers were heavy hitters, especially with Nick and Sebastian leading the solos. It was definitely worrisome at times. It was nice though, to just sit and watch and hold Blaine's hand.

Sam had cared about a lot of people. When he was dating Santana and especially when he was dating Quinn and Mercedes. He had a lot to give and people around him seemed to pick up on it. And although his relationship with Mercedes never got to foster properly, he thinks that the person who cared most about him back was the person he was connected to now. It was different, for sure, to love another man. But it was in silly ways. People asking who is the 'man'. People wanting to know who does what, and where they do it. Silly questions you don't really think about until asked. But as it stands, Sam was just as happy with Blaine as he could ever imagine being.

After the final group performed, everyone was dismissed to lunch. It was difficult to eat when everyone was so nervous, but they attempted to eat the quaint boxed sandwich meals that were given to them by the competition planners. It was quaint small talk at the table - everyone too fixated on the competition to really talk about anything of substance. What little they could eat, they ate quickly and the rest the group just stowed away or ended up tossing it. After what seemed like ages, The P.A. announced that it was time to convene back into the auditorium for announcements.

It took awhile before everyone got seated. It was sort of the same ordeal at all of the competitions - Read out the important people, then the sponsors then the judges. It seemed so unnecessarily long. Sam wondered briefly, if this is what being an adult was like - if it was, it wasn't something he was looking forward to. He wasn't particularly good at ass kissing.

The announcer finally got the finalists. He called up the Warblers first, which made Blaine and Sam look at each other with little surprise. The next group to be called up was a group they hadn't heard of - So when the last name called on stage was prepared to be read, the grip on Sam's hand became tighter. And when New Directions was called on stage? Sam and Blaine kissed each other and the group ran down the aisle and up to the stage with more energy than they showed all day.

When they got on stage, Sam made eye contact with Sebastian who threw him a nasty glare. The two didn't break eye contact until the announcer began speaking again. Sam looked forward, holding Blaine's hand tightly behind Puck where no one could see. The team that no one heard of got called out for third place, that shouldn't have surprised anyone. What Sam guessed was more surprising was that Vocal Adrenaline wasn't up there competing with them. Sam attributed it to the girl who fell midway through the B-52's mash-up they were doing.

The announcer waited for third place to shuffle off the stage before he took the big trophy from the hostess's hands. It seems gargantuan, gleaming in the light. Sam's breath quickened, as did it seem like everyone in New Directions did, when Blaine grabbed his hand.

"I love you," Blaine whispered.

"I love you too," Sam said back

"And it was close, this year," The announcer said, booming over the mic, as if he was a lord, "But we do have a winner."

The grip that Sam had on Blaine tightened, "The winner of the 2012 Regionals Tournament, with a bid to nationals is..."


	5. Angry Ride

T/W for some hate speech. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to get this chapter out. I'm really attached to this story - Hopefully some reviews will tell me if people are interested in this. I haven't revealed the big twist yet, and I realize this is sort of far into a story to not know where it's going. But any feed back would be great. Thank you for reading.

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><p>Sam woke up from his nap with a start. The hotel room had a heater that sent this soothing noise throughout the room and Sam was always a sucker for white noise. He was still lying on Blaine's lap, unsure of how long he was actually out. Blaine stopped reading whatever book was keeping his attention when he took notice of Sam's labored breathing.<p>

"Another nightmare?" Blaine asked.

Sam nodded his head, not moving from Blaine's lap. Fingers trailed through his messy blonde hair – the gentle press of the tips against his head threatening to lull him back to slumber.

"What was it about?"

"I'm not sure," Sam said, pushing through his sleepiness, "I can never remember what they're about"

Blaine kept tracing his fingers through Sam's locks, "Well, you're here with me now. And just in time, really, we're supposed to get ready for ice skating soon."

Sam sat himself up slowly, still groggy, "Ice skating?"

Blaine smirked, "Yeah, Rachel sent out a mass text, I guess she wants us all to celebrate together."

"How does she keep going?" Sam chuckled, "She's up at five every day and doesn't stop until who knows when."

"Well, Rachel Berry has always been sort of a whirlwind," Blaine said, leaning into him, "We don't all need to take naps"

Sam rolled his eyes and pecked Blaine slowly on the lips, "Well, you think we'd get one day off after winning to just relax."

"But then, you couldn't skate with me. And that'd be sad for me." Blaine said, lacing his voice with a playful tone.

"Sad for both of us." Sam said, before getting off the bed and strolling over to his suitcase on the ground.

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><p>Everyone took the shuttle from their hotel over to the ice skating rink – Luckily Schuester had decided that since it was a Friday anyway and since the competition wasn't going to be over until the early evening, that they were just going to stay one night.<p>

That gave everyone a chance to just hangout without the stress of classes or the pressures of home or whatever else seemed to weigh in. With the help of Kurt's dad, they were able to stay over and it gave the New Directions a chance to just hang out. Sam didn't really recall that the group felt this cohesive since Nationals in New York. As they were riding on the way to the rink, a few of the girls wanted to go shopping at the boulevard near the skating rink.

Mercedes, Kurt, Puck, Quinn, Rory, Sugar and Artie, all got out at the shopping center with strict orders to call or text by ten that evening so that the shuttle could grab them. That left Tina, Mike, Rachel, Finn, Santana, Brittany, Blaine and Sam to go to the ice skating rink. Sam had wondered if they had planned for all the couples to go to the rink while all the single students went shopping.

It had to be hard though, Sam remembered when he was single in the New Directions – It wasn't as if being in New Directions was difficult enough, what with the constant bullying, the slushies, the constant struggles for money. But to not have someone to lean on in the one place you're not supposed to feel alone? That was brutal. So when you're single, you stick together because it's easier. Because it makes being alone bearable.

They piled out of the shuttle, Schuester in tow who insisted on paying for the rentals. That put Sam at ease; Though Blaine was happy too. They got into more discussions about money than either of them would've liked. Sam, not having much of anything while Blaine, who went to a private school for over a year having anything he desired, created probably the only source of tension between them. Sam didn't know why, but whenever the subject of money came up, he felt guilty that Blaine was paying more than half of the time; Even more than three-quarters of the time.

Sam knew that it shouldn't bother him – If Blaine had the money, then he should just 'let it go' and enjoy their time together. But some… weird… part of Sam's psyche imagined that Blaine would think that he was only around for the money. That somehow, Sam was only being a 'kept' boy. So, when the opportunity came around to do things that were inexpensive, or free, both of the boys found it easier to do those than to do activities that would end up in an argument about money.

Both of them took to the ice quite well – It wasn't as hard. Sure, Sam was wobbling every so often but he would always steady himself – and they were able to pick up some momentum before Sam insisted on holding Blaine's hand.

Bad idea.

Blaine started to stumble, and instead of using his arms to awkwardly balance himself, one of his hands was unable to help. It was only a few seconds until both of them were greeting the ice with their butts.

Blaine chuckled through his pain, "Are you hurt?"

Sam awkwardly got up as best as he could, "Just my pride"

"Well, you could afford to lose some." Blaine joked

Sam shot him a nasty look but Blaine merely laughed. They kept skating, enjoying the music and talking with the other couples that were with them as they skated by on the ice. It was nice though, to just feel no pressure anymore. Sam had forgotten what it was like to not stress.

Schoolwork, money, glee practice, sports practice. It was all rather daunting and Sam hadn't noticed until he was there with Blaine. The connection between them is what kept Sam afloat. It wasn't that Sam needed to be with anyone, nonetheless, did he think it was going to be with Blaine – but things are easier sometimes when there are two people to carry the weight.

They had been skating for a good half hour when the intercom announced, "Couples Skate"

Sam didn't want to fall on his butt again, but they had made enough circles around the rink that he was confident they'd be all right. Now it was up to Blaine. Sam could never tell if Blaine was going to be comfortable with public affection or if he would withdraw.

Blaine had never really given him any details of what had happened, but Sam knew that he was attacked before he went to Dalton. He could see it when Blaine and Kurt were together. He would pull back and he would avoid touching Kurt or kissing him. Sam wasn't sure if that was what originally pulled them apart – but he could sense that it was a big point of contention between them.

Sam tried one day to get information about the attack from Kurt but the conversation ended up fruitless. Blaine hadn't told Kurt much either and whenever the conversation came up; Kurt said Blaine would shut down. The only reason that Blaine was as affectionate as they are now was because of a fight in of itself. It was going to be hard enough to tell people he was bisexual **and** that he was dating someone in New Directions without Blaine constantly shutting down when Sam needed the physical contact in order to justify being with Blaine.

It didn't seem like such a selfish compromise – Blaine had said he wasn't going to date someone who wasn't out of the closet so Sam didn't mind asking if they could be more physical when he got irritated that Blaine would pull away time and time again. And over the last few months, it's been a slow process and Sam has tried to be as patient and understanding as he could.

So, as they stood there in the skating rink, knowing they had already drawn attention for falling once, he wasn't sure what Blaine would do. They looked into each other's eyes and for a moment, Sam thought that Blaine was going to get off the rink. Sam had started to skate past him, towards the exit, when he felt a tug on his arm that spun him around awkwardly.

"Where are you going? It's couples skate, didn't you hear?" Blaine smirked

Sam met his smile, "Are you sure? If you don't want-"

"I want to, c'mon" Blaine said, cutting him off.

Sam took Blaine's hand and as the slow music took over the rink and they absent-mindedly swayed to the beat, circling the rink like water circles a drain. The song was something Sam recognized but couldn't place his finger on. Blaine stopped as they rounded one of the ends of the rink.

"What's up," Sam asked, as he turned to face Blaine

"Do you ever just have a moment, where you realize how happy you are?"

Sam's heart skipped a beat, "I was actually just thinking that"

"Do you realize," Blaine asked, "How happy you make me?"

"I…" Sam choked, feeling his face flush red.

"You do, you know," he went on, "I'm just always happy when I'm with you."

There was a pause; "You make me happy too, Blaine."

Sam leaned in, slowly, trying to make up for the difference in height. Blaine closed his eyes and they kissed, right there on the skating rink. The moment seemed to slow down. It felt so cliché but that was the only way Sam could think about it in his head.

In reality, they hadn't been kissing that long when a voice broke their connection, "Ew, Gross. Fucking faggots."

Sam could feel Blaine tense under him. Sam looked over and there were two couples standing not too far away from them. Sam turned to face the couples as he placed an arm in front of Blaine and tucked his boyfriend behind him.

"Stay behind me," Sam whispered, "Look, we're not hurting anyone, just leave us alone."

"No way, faggot," the boy on the left, tall, lanky – reminded Sam of Finn, except for the red hair, "No one wants to see that. Why don't you just get the hell out of here?"

Sam felt his pulse quicken, "We have as much right to be here as anyone."

"Not if you're a fucking queer," his friend on the right said, stockier and darker skinned, "Fucking gross, how do you live with yourselves?"

"I guess we can tell who the bitch is," The other said, "Look at his little pussy boyfriend hiding behind him like a bitch."

Sam was reaching his breaking point, "Dude, fuck you, just leave us the fuck alone."

Sam could've sworn the two were going to throw punches when Mike, Santana and Finn skated up to them, equally as ready to fight.

"Do we have a problem here?" Finn said, notable anger in his voice.

"I know you dumbasses aren't trying to mess with my friends" Santana said, as Brittany, Tina and Rachel pulled up in tow, "Because you're messing with Lima Heights now."

Santana was taking off her earrings animatedly and passing them off to Brittany when the red-heads girlfriend started tugging on his arm, "C'mon, let's just go."

The other guy was being pulled by his girlfriend too and eventually the four of them left the New Directions standing there, breathing heavily on the ice.

Sam turned around to see Blaine almost on the verge of tears, "Can we just go please?"

Sam nodded and hugged Blaine tight. It seemed forever to round everyone up and to get the shuttle going. And of course they were going to have to pick everyone up at the shopping center and Sam could tell Blaine just wanted to be at the hotel. Everyone was kind of shaken up and it was awkward when the other group joined them in the van. Finn quietly explained to everyone what had happened, Blaine just laid in the nook of Sam's arm trying not to feel.

It was frustrating how such an awesome night could turn so shitty so quickly. When they got back to their room, they quietly peeled off their clothes and showered away the cold that had seeped into their bones. Sam had often enjoyed just being together and not needing to say anything, but right now, not talking was killing him. But if Blaine didn't want to talk, he wasn't going to.

They simply changed into pajamas and crawled into bed. Now it was Sam's turn to be the protector. To be the light in the darkness. And he really didn't mind. Blaine had cuddled onto Sam's chest and felt Sam's arm wrap around him.

It was altogether surprising and not surprising at all then, when Blaine began to hold Sam tight and cry into him. Sam didn't say anything, but the sobs were shaking Blaine to his core. It was the first time that Sam had seen him cry like this. And after fifteen minutes of it, Blaine had cried himself into exhaustion. The cries became hitched breathing, and then slowly became the labored breathing of sleep. Sam couldn't picture his life without Blaine – and after tonight, Sam was sure that Blaine felt the same way. The nap had kept Sam awake for another hour or so, but he was content daydreaming about their future together, before his fantasies gave way to sleep.


	6. Bound To You

I'm sorry that this took so long - I was planning for this chapter to be posted a few days ago, but Austin posted another chapter in his amazing Blam story _Still Fighting It_ and I wanted full attention to be on him. With that said, this is the last chapter before the big reveal. I'll be posting three chapters at the same time after this; so the next update wont be for awhile but will have a huge update for everyone. Rates and Reviews greatly appreciated, especially since I'm posting this without a Beta. Have fun and thanks for reading.

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><p>Sam awoke gently for the first time in weeks. Sometime in the night, they had shifted and Blaine was being cradled by him, their legs a tangled mess of skin and hair and sheets. Sam tried to move but between his arm being held tightly by Blaine's hand and his ankle hooked precariously by Blaine's foot, it felt impossible to move. And it didn't really seem to matter, the clock on the hotel wall said they had another two hours until check out and none of the New Directions had begun to move yet.<p>

Blaine seemed peaceful in Sam's embrace, breathing deeply and slowly. Sam moved his hand just a bit, so that he could put his hand to Blaine's heart. The gentle thud against his hand made Sam smile. The warmth from his sleep began to wear off, which made him nudge even closer to Blaine. It was times like this that being a teenager made sweet moments frustrating, because his body was responding in other ways. It all seemed so inappropriate, especially since he knew that Blaine was still hurting from last night.

So when Blaine turned around slowly, still embraced by Sam's loving arms and looked into his eyes, all Sam could do in response was look back and smile.

"Hey," Sam half-whispered, "Good morning."

"Morning," Blaine said groggily, "How long have you been up?"

"Only ten minutes or so. You can go back to sleep, we don't need to be up for another hour or so."

Blaine angled his chin and pressed his lips gently against Sam's. It was just a simple kiss, but the energy still flowed through them like a lightning bolt.

Blaine pulled off, "Would you mind if we got breakfast? If you're not too sleepy?"

Sam felt a twinge. Money. Crap. The pause before getting an answer alerted Blaine to his worries.

"I'll pay, I just want to get out of here."

Sam sighed, "Yeah, ok."

They awkwardly untangled themselves and quietly got dressed as to not wake the others in the room with them. They bundled up and packed up, so they could check out quickly when they came back. Sam followed Blaine into the hall, down to the lobby and out of the hotel. There was a diner across the street, maybe a five-minute walk, but it was enough time to know what was on Blaine's mind when Sam reached for his hand and Blaine pulled away. Sam didn't say anything, even if he had the courage to say something, what? Comforting? If he had the courage to say something comforting, he wouldn't know _what_ to say.

The weird look the host gave them when they said it was just the two of them for a table only served to add onto the anxiety. Was this it? Was Blaine going to break up with him? Blaine was upset after last night, sure, but was it enough to scare Blaine away from him?

His breathing quickened after they ordered juice and looked through their menus. Sam was normally secure in their relationship but as soon as the thought entered his head, and the only thing breaking the awkward silence was the sound of his stupid thoughts. The waitress dropped off their drinks and took their orders and the silence

"Ok, if we're going to do this, can we at least be friends?" Sam blurted out

Blaine cocked his head, "Wait, what?"

"You wanted to go to breakfast to break up with me, away from the others right?"

"Sam, what are you-"

"After last night, and then you didn't want to hold my hand. I just figured-" Sam interrupted, before being cut off by Blaine, who held up his hand.

"Whoa, Sam, calm down, I'm not breaking up with you."

Sam exhaled, tears clearly forming in his eyes, "You're not?"

Blaine shook his head, "No. I'm just a little shaken up, that's all"

"Then, what's up? Why are we here?", Sam asked, drying his eyes with his wrist and desperately trying to catch his breath from hitching.

"You really thought I was going to break up with you?" Blaine asked with a mild smirk

"I've never seen you cry like that Blaine. I really thought you were upset that I didn't protect you or something."

Blaine shook his head, "You're such a dork. You were like my knight in shining… clumsy ice skates. It just brought up a lot of things that I hadn't thought about in awhile."

"From before Dalton?"

"Yeah," Blaine said, as he nodded, "And I haven't told you any of it."

"Well," Sam said, "I remember it was the reason you wouldn't date me."

Sam could see that _that_ comment was like a knife in Blaine's chest, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"No, you're right," Blaine said, "If you could have afforded to stay at Dalton, I don't know how long it would've taken for me to realize I had feelings for you."

Sam smiled weakly, "I know you haven't wanted to talk about it, but, if you're ever ready, I'd like to know what happened."

Blaine breathed deep, "That's the reason I wanted to get some alone time with you. You deserve to know."

They were interrupted when their breakfast came and after the waitress went away, they began preparing their food. Syrups and jams, butter, salt. Sam liked ketchup on his scrambled eggs, which Blaine never understood – always ordering his over-medium so that he could scrape up the yolk with his toast.

"It was a Sadie Hawkins dance," Blaine started, as Sam had to pretend like he didn't know this part, "And there was only one other boy at my high school that was gay."

Sam nodded, eating his food more delicately than he would normally. A singing, dancing football player burns more calories than people think.

"We were friends, even though we didn't have much in common," he continued, "and so when the dance rolled around, I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. I mean, our friends didn't care, so I guess I just assumed."

"What did he think of it?" Sam asked

The pause seemed longer to Sam than it actually was, "I think he liked me more than I liked him. I didn't think anything of it though, It was just nice to go to a dance with a boy for once."

"And your parents?"

"They were actually completely fine with me being gay at this point. It's what happened at the dance that made them change their mind."

Sam narrowed his eyes, "What do you mean?"

"Well," Blaine went on, with a heavy tone in his voice, "Things were fine for awhile. We danced with our friends and didn't really have a problem. My friend managed to sneak in a bottle of vodka and we snuck drinks when the slow dances came on. When the dance was over, we all decided to go to this Ihop since no where else was open."

"Wait a second," Sam said, interrupting Blaine. His phone was vibrating off the table, "It's a text from Santana. She says Schuester is looking for us."

Blaine's eyes widened, "Shit. What time is it?"

Sam looked at his phone again, "It's 9:45"

"Oh shit, ok, I'm going to go pay the check, can you get boxes for the food and we'll eat on the bus?" Blaine asked, already scooting out of the booth.

Sam followed suit, grabbing some boxes from the waitress behind the counter. As he got back, he boxed up both of their breakfasts, sealing up his box just in time for Blaine to come back.

"Checks paid for, let's go before Schuester murders us" Blaine said, taking Sam's hand, and at once making him giddy.

They jogged back to the hotel, across the street, breakfasts in tow. When they got to the hotel, all of the New Directions were waiting on the curb in front of the hotel. Schuester was pacing back and forth, a tint of ruby flushing his face. When he saw Blaine and Sam walking up, he stormed over to them.

"Where have you been?" He yelled, "I was incredibly worried, if something would've happened to you, my job would've been on the line and New Directions could've been compromised."

"Mister Schue," Sam started.

"Shut it, Sam, I don't want to hear it," he said, cutting him off, "I'm incredibly dis-"

"No, You shut it," Sam said.

Schuester recoiled at his shout, "You're worried now? Where the hell were you when we got gay-bashed last night?"

"Hey," Schuester tried.

"No," Sam said, stepping in front of Blaine, "I went to breakfast with Blaine and helped him not feel like shit and I don't need you coming down on him or me right now."

Schuester began to open his mouth before Sam cut him off again, "We're safe; No thanks to you, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't fuck up this amazing morning I've had with my boyfriend."

Sam grabbed Blaine's hand and they walked past their teacher and stood next to their bags. Sam could only assume that Finn had brought their luggage out because he didn't think his other roommate, Kurt, was strong enough to do it on his own. The group stood in awkward silence until the bus arrived. Sam and Blaine said nothing to each other, still holding hands – They stood there, Sam in defiance while Blaine was clearly thinking something Sam could not discern. When the bus arrived, the students stored their luggage in the undercarriage with hardly a word exchanged between them.

Sam could tell that Blaine was not happy with the attention that they had drawn to them. Blaine had always been a private person; even back at Dalton. Not a wind or word about this boy or his parents. In fact, if Sam hadn't insisted on meeting Blaine's parents a couple months back, he's not sure it would've happened.

They've talked since then, however, multiple dinners. He even got to stay over on Blaine's birthday. That comment from their earlier conversation bothered him. What did Blaine mean when he was talking about his parents changing their mind? This conversation wasn't over yet. Not if he had anything to do about it.

The silence spread to the bus and for the first twenty minutes it took to get to the interstate. Santana was the one that broke the silence, finally speaking to Brittany and they had a full conversation after that. Mike and Tina followed suit. Then Quinn and Mercedes; Then Rachel and Finn; and Puck, Artie, Sugar and Rory. And eventually the bus was loud enough that Sam could turn to his boyfriend.

"We're not done," he said, "I want to know the rest."

Blaine was visibly upset, "Sam, I don't need the New Directions hating me – especially after splitting up with Kurt."

"Blaine," Sam said, earnestness in his voice, "If they hate you for standing up for yourself, do you want them to be in your life?"

Blaine didn't say anything. All he could do was take Sam's hand when he offered it to him. The bus hummed along, the students adding noise to the constant buzz of the rotating tires. Sam kept dragging his thumb along the length of Blaine's forefinger.

"We went out to the parking lot," Blaine said, out of nowhere, drawing Sam's attention, "And he was being goofy; I think from the alcohol, which is why I took his keys."

Sam felt Blaine tighten his grip on his hand, "That's when some of the people I thought were my friends from the polo team found us"

"Polo team?" Sam asked; this was where Kurt's information eluded him, "I didn't know you played Polo…"

Blaine tilted a grin, halfheartedly, "Yeah, we all rode together. I guess they had been lying about me being gay. I helped win enough of our matches that they didn't bother me."

When Blaine took his next deep breath, Sam finally matched his grip just as tight, "They cornered us. Three of them. Just beat us until one of our teammates ran over and started pulling them off us."

"I don't remember much. I was out for a couple days," Blaine said, his breathing jerking and on the verge of tears, "I remember waking up in the hospital."

"Blaine, if you don't want to talk about this," Sam said meekly, "We don't have to. I love you no matter what."

"No," Blaine said, interrupting him, "I want you to know."

Sam scooted closer to his boyfriend. As he laid his head on Blaine's shoulder, his boyfriend continued, "He was in a coma for three weeks. By then, I had been discharged from the hospital and my parents already decided that they were moving me to Dalton."

"What happened to him?" Sam asked, curiously, "I mean, I know what happened when you got to Dalton."

"I don't know," Blaine went on, "My parents refused to let me see him. Once they transferred me to Dalton, they stopped being supportive about me being gay."

"What?" Sam asked, confusion in his voice, "Why? That doesn't make sense."

"All they did, the few days I was out, was pray that I'd be O.K."

"So, what? They took it as some sign?" Sam inquired.

Blaine chuckled, "I guess. Once I got better and was doing well at Dalton, I would spend afternoons helping my Dad fix this Oldsmobile he was obsessed with."

"Explains why you could help my Dad with that carburetor problem," Sam remarked jokingly, "but it doesn't explain what happened to your date."

Blaine looked down at his lap; "It took him way longer to wake up. And weeks after that to get back to normal. I hadn't heard from him until after you had transferred and I had met Kurt."

Sam understood at that point, that while he had reached out to Blaine for almost four months, why he never made any headway before he had to leave, "So, do you know how he's doing?"

"We keep in contact," Blaine said, "Facebook and all. He has a boyfriend now."

Sam squeezed Blaine's hand, "But you haven't moved on."

"How could I?" Blaine responded, immediately, "He almost died because of me. I shouldn't have asked him to that dance."

"Uh," Sam said, with sarcasm dripping from his tone, "No, they shouldn't have been jackasses. No one deserves to be beat up. Ever. It wasn't your fault, Blaine."

"I know," Blaine responded, "But I'm a different person now. You see how much I struggle with it."

"And I try to be supportive," Sam said enthusiastically, "But I'll always protect you. Like you protect me."

The hum of the bus seemed to draw comfort for them. Sam couldn't find the words to break the silence so he smiled and turned his palm upwards on his leg. Blaine looked down on it and interlocked their hands together.

"I'd really like you stay over tonight," Blaine finally said.

Sam looked over with a puzzled face, "But you know how your Dad is. He doesn't even like you going on dates with me."

"We'll talk to him – I really don't want to be alone tonight, Sam."

Sam felt Blaine squeeze his hand tighter, "…Okay, Blaine. Together."

Neither knew what the other was thinking but the thought of Blaine's date was digging into the back of Sam's mind. As they passed through a rest stop and a small town, Sam broke the small talk abruptly and awkwardly.

"I think you should see him," Sam said, "I mean, actually meet up with him instead of just on Facebook."

Blaine let go of Sam's hand, "Sam, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?" Sam asked, "I think it'll help you with your guilt over this."

"I haven't seen him since the accident, Sam," he explained

"All the more reason," Sam went on, "It can't hurt, Blaine, all it can do is help."

"I'll think about it," he said, turning away from Sam and toward the window.

Sam grabbed Blaine's hand again, interlocking their fingers and used his other hand to pull Blaine's chin gently to him. A soft, gentle kiss was shared between them before they relaxed and spent the remaining time enjoying each other and talking about which Harry Potter was the best. It was enough to kill the rest of the trip. The New Directions poured out of the bus, exhausted but excited. They slowly dissipated to their cars or by getting rides from their parents. Blaine's eyes scanned the parking lot – His parents weren't there and Sam's parents were waiting in the car for their son.

Sam pulled Blaine by the hand over to the car and made Blaine get in the back with him.

Sam's mom began to put pressure onto the gas, but Sam interrupted, "Mom, wait."

She put on the brakes and she calmly looked at her son, "What's up?"

"I need you two to do me a big favor," Sam said, "And I would never ask but something big happened over the trip"

Sam's dad turned in the front seat, "What? Are you boys ok?"

"We're just a little shaken up," Sam said, taking Blaine's hand, "If we leave the door open – Can Blaine stay over?"

"I don't want to be alone right now," he lied, "And Blaine doesn't either."

Sam's mother turned to face her son with concern, "What happened?"

"We got attacked," Sam said, "These guys just called us names and threatened us."

"What?" His father roared, "Why didn't your teacher stop it? Why didn't he say anything?"

Blaine interjected this time, "We just didn't have time. I'm sure he'll send out a letter or call soon."

"Sam," His mother said, "You know how we feel about partners spending the night."

"I understand," Blaine said, nodding his head.

"Mom, Dad," Sam said, "Please. My grades have been better since dating Blaine and I'm doing really well in school. I'll wash your cars and mow the lawn too."

Sam's dad looked over at his mom, "Well, It's not like they can get pregnant."

Sam and Blaine both felt a flush of red fill their cheeks. The car filled with laughter as Sam's mom pulled on the gas and started to drive out of the parking. Sam's dad was already calling Blaine's parents. There was a tone that his father used when he was going to get stuff done, and he could hear it being spoken into the receiver. It took awhile but Sam's dad got his way.

They stopped off to get a family meal at a fast food joint while Sam and Blaine told them about the trip. About the competition and about the idiots at the skating rink. They didn't really feel the need to tell them about Sebastian, and it wasn't really important anyway. When they got home, Sam's brother and sister tackled them with hugs and questions and Sam never saw them so excited until they found out that Blaine was spending the night.

Blaine felt at ease as they shared dinner and talked about their weekend. Blaine listened to stories of homework and the park while Sam helped clean up the wrappers and the napkins and everyone settled into their pajamas. The couch got crowded, what with Sam's parents on one end, Blaine and Sam on the other and Stacie and Stevie crammed between them. It was nice though, Blaine felt safe. And Sam felt happy. If there was one thing he loved more than his family, it's being able to share his family with Blaine. Stevie and Stacie were the first ones to take up residency in slumberland. Blaine was next, after Sam's shoulder became a pillow somewhere during the movie. Once Sam's mom was nodding off, everyone decided it was finally time to go to bed.

His parents carried Stevie and Stacie into their rooms before wishing the boys good night; Sam's dad closing their door and giving them unspoken permission to leave it that way. Sam wished they could take advantage of their privacy, but they were so exhausted that sleep was crawling into every one of their pores. It was only mere seconds that Blaine had found his pillow before Sam heard the heavy breathing that came with sleep. Sam held Blaine closer from behind and inhaled his smell before sleep took over his body as well.


	7. Blinding

Here it is - What I've been building the story up to and where it will be going for the rest of the story. This is potentially triggering in terms of loss and violence - but please at least keep with it through the next three chapters; it'll set the tone for my story and hopefully intrigue you enough to stick with me until the end.

* * *

><p>The steady high-pitched beeping is what Sam heard first. A generic haze and ringing in his ear eventually gave way to intercom noises and a TV displaying something he didn't recognize. News? Vampire Diaries?<p>

And then the pain set in. His chest especially but god, his head was throbbing too. The sudden realization of pain made him whimper deeply as he exhaled and winced. The white lights seared his eyes and he kept trying to blink them open but the sensitivity shut them closed again.

"Sam?" he heard to his right, feeling a hand on his arm, "Dwight, go get the doctor, hurry."

His eyes were finally adjusting to the light when his mom came into view; "Hi sweetie," she said, putting a gentle palm on his cheek.

"Mom?" Sam said quizzically, his voice dry and cracked, "What's going on?"

"You're in the hospital, Sam."

Sam tried to sit up, but his mom gently pushed him back down, "Sweetie, you shouldn't move right now."

"Mom," Sam said, more urgently this time, "Why am I in the hospital? What happened to me?"

"There was an accident, you've been unconscious for almost two weeks now."

"What? How?," Sam's voice began to show panic, "Where's Blaine? He was with me – We went to sleep together."

"Sam, You gotta calm down, everything's going to be alright," his mom said, in that tone he hated. He wasn't twelve. And god, why was it so hard to breathe?

He saw his dad walk in the room with a man in a white coat. The man put two fingers on Sam's wrist checking, what he was sure, was beeping on the monitor. The confusion gave way to panic and anger. Why was no one answering him? Why the HELL did his chest hurt so bad?

"Sam?" The doctor asked rhetorically, flashing a light into Sam's eyes, which he followed instinctively, "You've been in a really gnarly accident – You've been unconscious for awhile. You suffered a rather violent blow to the head and several cracked ribs when you impacted. Everything seems reparable, but we have to run some tests to make sure."

"Wait," Sam spat, chest heaving in pain, "What happened? Where's Blaine?"

"I think maybe that's a conversation for you to have with your parents. I'll give you some time and then come back for some blood samples."

"And Sam," he went on, "You are a very lucky boy."

The doctor walked out leaving Sam laying there, the perpetual throbbing in his chest reminding him with each inhale of how bruised he was.

The beeping dominated the room again, sounding off every beat of his heart. Sam wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew that not getting answers was making him boiling.

"Will someone," he said, through gritted teeth, "Please tell me what's going on?

His mom and dad tried to communicate without saying words. Their eyes betrayed their desire to talk to him about this situation.

"Please," Sam said, "This is starting to piss me off."

His mother sat down, pulling a chair over to his bedside and took his hand, "Sam, on the way to the competition, your bus driver got distracted by Blaine singing in the aisle. Your teacher said it was only half a second, when a semi crossed the center divider and hit your bus."

The beeping quickened, matching the racing pace in his breast, "What are you talking about?"

"Your bus hit the truck head on," his father finished, "The driver didn't even have a chance to react."

Sam's breathing was shallow and quick; a question lingered on his breath because he didn't want to ask it, "Blaine."

His mom's eyes began to well up and he knew his answer, but he insisted, "What happened to Blaine, Mom?"

"Since he was in the aisle," his dad helped, "the seats didn't stop him like it stopped everyone else. The doctors said that's why your ribs were injured – but the seats in front of you stopped you from flying out of the bus."

"…and Blaine was in the aisle," Sam said, "Singing that stupid song"

"It was quick, he wasn't in any pain," his mom said, trying to speak over the rapid paced heart machine, "It was just a quick impact and it was over with."

Sam felt his chest tighten. He didn't know if it was because of the pain in his torso, or the pain from his heart but it was unbearable, "No, this isn't right."

"Honey, calm down," his mom urged

"No, you don't understand," Sam said breathlessly, "This is a nightmare. This isn't real. I'm just having another nightmare and I need to wake up."

"Sam," his dad said, "I know this doesn't make sense right now, but"

"No," Sam shouted, his wind unable to catch itself in his chest, "It doesn't make sense"

"We're here for you," his mom said, "Whatever you need, we'll get through this together."

"Get out," Sam said, hitched breath and on the verge of tears, "Just get out, please."

His father signaled to his mother to follow along and they left Sam, to do paperwork or to get coffee or something that Sam couldn't think about because the pain in his chest was taking control.

An unearthly noise escaped his body as the tears finally fell down his cheek and the gravity finally took hold. He couldn't process the information he just got. It was sensory overload. The TV, and his fucking chest, and stupid beeping noise. Yes, he was alive but more than anything he didn't want to be.

And normally he would be embarrassed to cry like this but the agony was crashing on him. This wasn't real. He'd wake up and he would push this away and it'd normal – wouldn't it? So why did this fucking pain in his chest continue to throb? Why did it feel like this was real? Why was he crying? Why can't he wake up?

Sam didn't know how long he had been crying before the doctor came back in. His parents weren't with him and his crying had slowed to a numb state of existence.

"How are you doing, Sam?" the doctor asked.

Sam looked at his doctor with anger, furrowing his brow, "Oh, I'm just awesome."

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions. I'm here to help you through whatever you need."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" he fired, "I don't need anyone's help. I just need…"

Sam's voice trailed off. Could he say his name? Would it sound the same now that everything has changed?

"I don't understand," he said, weakly, "None of this makes sense. We went to the competition. We ice skated together. I saw that idiot there."

The doctor fiddled with beaker or a flask or whatever, Sam couldn't remember the name of it. He couldn't bring himself to care. It connected to the catheter sticking out of his elbow and was shooting blood upward in the glass. Sam would normally be squeamish about seeing that much blood leave his body, but he just didn't have the energy.

"It's not uncommon in cases like yours," The doctor finally said, "To have vivid and life-like dreams."

"So, what? I made it all up?"

"Perhaps," the doctor said, "Or it could've been your subconscious trying to cope with your injury. We don't know a lot about dreams and comas."

"But I was gay-bashed. And Blaine was upset," he said incredulously, "If I were dreaming, why wouldn't my subconscious make them happy dreams?"

"I don't know," he answered, swapping one tube for another, "I'm not sure what your relationship was with this boy. Or what fears you had about life, but they may have had something to do with it."

The pause was monumental. The doctor knew that Sam was hurting and Sam knew in his heart that this didn't feel right but neither could find the words to speak. The doctor took the tubes and placed them on the table and checked Sam's pulse one more time. Sam wondered why since the beeping monitor was enough to know that his broken heart was in fact still working.

Sam's parents walked in allowing the doctor to grab his sheets and the vials, "I'm going to run these tests and see how much longer we'll have you for observation before we discharge you."

"Thank you, Doctor," Sam's mom said

Sam's Dad turned off the TV while his mom walked back around to the bedside. A nurse came in with a cup of pills, which Sam took without word. It was too much energy to fight right now. And he didn't know how to process this.

"The pills," The nurse started, writing on a ledger, "Are for pain and anti-inflammatory. Since it's been a couple of weeks, it's only bruising and blood pressure really that we have to worry about."

"Thanks," Sam said blankly.

"It causes drowsiness," The nurse said, directed at his parents, "You should let him rest soon."

The nurse turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

"I want to see Quinn," Sam said, to no one in particular.

"Honey," his mom started, "I don't know if that's a good idea."

Sam exhaled, "Mom. If I can't see Blaine, I need to see Quinn. Please."

She took Sam's hand and nodded. He was too exhausted to cry. To breathe. To be awake.


	8. Raw and Awake

Sam bolted upright with a gasp. The darkness was impossible to see through. It was eerily quiet. No beeping. No intercom. His breath was the only thing permeating the room. His breath… and another's…

"Sam," he said, "What's wrong?"

Sam turned to see a small brunette looking over at him. His breath was quick. Panicked, "Blaine? Oh my god."

"What?" Blaine asked, with sleepy concern in his voice.

Sam leaned over and kissed him. It was all he could do. His body gave into Blaine's and the warmth between them felt like pure bliss. Blaine met the passionate kisses with rhythmic synchronization but Blaine kept trying to interject, with each of his words being cut off by Sam's hungry lips.

Blaine leaned back, pushing on Sam's shoulders gently, "Sam, whoa, what's going on?"

"I don't know," Sam answered with shortened breath, "You're real…"

Sam gently dragged his fingers down Blaine's chest, settling his palm on Blaine's breast. Breath. Heartbeats. Warmth.

"Sam?" Blaine asked, without seeking an answer

"Must've been a nightmare," he answered, "It felt so… real. I've never had one like that."

Blaine sat up and looked earnestly into his eyes, "You remember it? What happened?"

Sam shook his head, "It's nothing. Really. I'm just glad you're here"

"Babe," Blaine placed his hand gently on Sam's cheek, "If you remember your nightmares, you should tell me. I can help you through it."

"I don't really remember it," Sam lied, "It's fading quick. Just bits and pieces."

"Well, tell me what you do remember."

Sam took a deep breath, "I don't… There was a hospital. My parents were there. Nothing too big."

Blaine seemed resigned to that answer. They sat there, Sam just staring at Blaine. It was just a nightmare. His boyfriend was there, in those adorable boxer briefs that hugged his waist. If it was a nightmare, Sam wasn't going to let it ruin this morning, and this boy who sat in front of him looking perfect.

– – –

Sam let the hot water rush over him. Blaine was busy getting their stuff together and he knew that they had to rush since they took so long in bed. Three times. That's never happened before. But Sam felt so whole. So suddenly complete that he didn't want to stop.

But now that he was by himself, the water served to insulate his thoughts unto himself. He just stood there. Not cleaning his body, not shampooing his blonde hair. Just standing there and remembering the beeping in his head. The feeling when his heart sank. It felt so real. He never had a nightmare like that before. But the heat felt so good. The fear and pain mere echoes now, but …definitely there.

"Sam!" Blaine called through the door, "Move it or lose it, we're going to be late!"

Sam wondered if he could call himself clean if there was no actual cleaning that took place. He dried off, shaking his long hair like a dog and quickly dried himself with a towel. He put on some clothes that Blaine had picked out for him – Sam never really considered himself too fashionable but Blaine always seemed to pick out clothes he wore a hundred times and make them coordinated like they came out of a magazine.

Blaine always had that going for him, actually – It made him really self-conscious; especially following someone like Kurt. Kurt dressed like he was walking down a runway in Paris almost every day. So when things started clicking between him and Blaine, Sam couldn't really figure out why. He didn't dress well; he wasn't really into musicals or these older singers Sam couldn't remember or differentiate.

As he was mussing his hair and brushing his teeth in the mirror, he thought back to their first kiss. They had been hanging out more and talking more, especially when Kurt decided they should take a break when Kurt didn't get his acceptance letter from NYADA. Kurt had decided Blaine was distracting him while he was scrambling to apply to other universities.

Sam remembered seeing his face the day that Kurt decided to take a break. Sam made a point to talk to him more. Hang out with him more. And they did. They went out to ice cream, played hours of Risk and even went to see the revival of Dr. Strangelove at Sam's insistence. Hanging out became a daily affair. And he remembered the first time going to Blaine's house – much larger than the one story house he was crammed in with his four other family members. Maybe it just seemed big because it was just Blaine and his parents. And that house seemed just as big during that Star Wars marathon.

It was right before the climactic scene between Darth Vader and Luke. Sam had to go to the bathroom and Blaine paused while he was doing his business. Blaine's parents had gone to bed by then and it was some time after midnight. Sam was taken by surprise when he got back to the living room and was ambushed by Blaine. Blaine was surprisingly scrappy for being so much littler than Sam, and while Blaine hung onto his back like a monkey, he clawed at Sam's ribs tickling him and bringing him down to the ground.

They rolled around on the ground, trying to be as quiet as two boys wrestling could when Sam finally rolled Blaine onto his back and pinned him. Blaine and Sam were both smiling and huffing – out of breath. And Sam didn't know what compelled him – Maybe it was the testosterone in the room or maybe it was how much they were hanging out – but he leaned down slowly and kissed the boy underneath him.

Sparks. Confusing sparks. Sparks that went through their lips and pulsed through their body. And it lasted forever and at the same time, not long at all. Movie cliché' really. And then afterward came the awkward fumbling and the apologizing. Trying to pretend like it didn't happen and sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

It seemed so silly now, as Sam walked into his room and got his backpack. When he walked out to the living room, Blaine holding a paper plate full of food, he knew he was in love.

"Your mom gave you the keys – We have the car today…"

Sam smiled, "Which means we can totally skip and drive to Columbus to go to that arcade with the bumper cars"

"Or," Blaine smiled back, "We'll go to lunch off campus when it's time for break."

Sam kissed him as he took the food out of Blaine's hand, "You're no fun."

Blaine shrugged while they walked out the door, backpacks in tow. Sam turned back to holler at his mother, "Bye mom! I'll see you after school!"

His mother yelled something incoherent back that he couldn't make out as they walked out the door. The drive to school was quick, Blaine driving the car so that Sam could eat. When they got to school, they walked up to the main walkway and kissed one more time – in spite of Blaine tensing up – before heading their separate ways.

Algebra. Lord. How did Sam ever survive this class? And that breakfast was sitting heavy on his stomach. And the teacher was droning on and on. And the heater kicked on making the humming sound. And Sam could feel his lids growing heavy. So when he rested his chin on his hand for just a second, it felt like heaven to just close his eyes.


	9. Soft Shoulder

The beeping was the first thing to wash over him. Then the chest pain. Then the pain in his heart. Sam slowly opened his eyes; the noise of the hospital filling in just like before. Sam turned his head to the right to see Quinn sitting in a chair looking at him.

"Hi," she said meekly, "good to see you."

Sam smirked, "Hi."

"Your mom told me you wanted to see me, so I left school and came straight here."

"How long have you been here?" he asked

"Only a half hour or so," she said, as she stood up and walked over to him, "you were tossing in your sleep."

"Yeah." Sam said with a sigh, "I was dreaming about Blaine."

Quinn's eyes reflected sadness upon hearing that name. She took Sam's hand and held it, "Everyone was glad to hear you woke up. Glee club has been… really hard to go to."

"So, everyone else is ok?" Sam asked

Quinn nodded slowly, "Yes. Tina got the worst of it. A broken leg and a bad concussion."

"And the bus driver," she went on, "the bus driver didn't make it."

The beeping and the intercom and the constant noise of the hospital didn't leave any silence for Sam's own thoughts. He didn't really know what to say – he just knew that he was glad that Quinn was there.

"How have you been," he asked, "since the accident, I mean?"

"I've been ok. " She said, "A lot of the parents wanted to pull us out of Glee club after the accident. We've been slowly convincing parents it was a fluke accident sort of thing."

"So everyone's back?"

"Everyone except for Mike." She answered, "You know how his dad was. He was just starting to warm up to the idea when the accident happened."

Sam looked around the room blankly. He wasn't really processing anything. It hadn't really sunk in that all of this was even happening. Quinn looked at him with worry and pity and it frustrated him. Laying this bed irritated him. That fucking constant beeping irritated him.

"When is Blaine's…" he started, unable to finish

That fucking look again. Crawling across her face like the sun crawls across a morning sky, "You've been out for a while, Sam."

"I know I've been out for a while," he said, malice in his voice

"His funeral was almost two weeks ago," she said, "His parents wanted him buried quickly so they could move."

"What?" Sam sat up, "What are you talking about?"

Quinn's eyes began to well up, tears forming on the edges, "We didn't even know about it until it was too late. Kurt was furious. So was Rachel."

"So," Sam said, anger swelling in his voice, "None of his friends were there. No one who actually knew anything about him, was there?"

"Sam," she said, "I'm sor-"

"Don't," he interrupted, "Don't… apologize to me."

Her eyes were glistening with the tears that refused to drop. Sam's face was a weird contortion of livid and forlorn.

"You know," he finally said, "It would make sense this would happen. I mean, everything in my life was finally going right. I was getting good grades. I had a successful relationship. My parents accepted me for who I was. I had a lot of friends."

"Sam," she said, squeezing his hand

"No, Quinn," he said, pulling his hand away from her grip, "you don't understand. All of high school has been a struggle. A struggle to make friends. A struggle to get by."

The beeping filled the room again. Sam wanted to keep talking just so he could shut out the noise of that fucking beeping. He looked up at Quinn and noticed the tears finally falling down her cheek.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I just don't… know how to deal with any of this. It feels like someone ripped my life apart and now I'm left trying to put it back together."

"I can help you. All of glee club can help you too, when you get out of here."

As if the thought was pressing on him since he woke up, he abruptly asked, "Will you take me to his grave?"

"I," she started, dumbstruck at its spontaneity "What?"

"I need to see it," he went on, "I need to see him."

"Sam, I don't know."

"Please, Quinn?" he stammered, shaking as he brought his hand to his mouth.

She nodded. And they became conscious of the beeping again, quickened now.

"I wonder when I'll get out of here," he said through hitched breath

"Actually," she said, "I was talking with your mom while you were sleeping. You've got another day or two and they'll let you out of here. You don't really need any more treatment"

"That's good news," he answered back, "I don't know if I could handle being here for very long, on top of everything else."

"Well, you have me for today," she said with a smile, "I brought a deck of cards and Avatar. What say I run down to the cafeteria, get you some of that delicious hospital food and pretend like we're not bored to tears?"

Sam faked a smile and she left the room.

It was the first time he was alone since he woke up. The general confusion and haze that came with having constant interaction and stimulation gave way to the ever-pressing weight that pushed on his chest.

Blaine.

He was really gone. Sam had never lost anyone before. All four of his grandparents were even still alive. His uncles, his aunts – all of them in tip-top shape. Never in a million years would he have thought he would lose his partner before any of them.

Sam's breathing was labored as his thoughts began to collapse onto him. Could he handle going back to McKinley without him? Did he have to go immediately back to school? Would everyone pity him because he had a dead boyfriend?

He aimlessly flipped on the tv and clicked through channels to try and quiet his mind, but it just kept deluging him with thoughts and fears and panic. And where the hell was Quinn with that food?

He began wondering if Blaine was looking down on him – laughing at him being so lost without him. Or maybe Blaine was in hell. Isn't that where people like them go? Did Sam even believe in that anymore? Did he want to believe in something that punished him for doing what made him happy?

It seemed so silly now that Sam had never had that conversation with him. He knew Blaine believed in something. Sam wasn't sure if it was God or if it was reincarnation or whatever. It was actually really cliché' now that he looked back on it. It was a conversation overlooking the stars. They had laid in the backyard and Blaine was sure something had to be out there – the universe would seem so small if there wasn't.

Sam wondered if Blaine's parents mentioned him at the funeral. Or if they even acknowledged the fact that he was gay. And if the Glee club wasn't invited to the funeral, who was? Were the Warblers allowed? Did that smirky asshole get to go and say goodbye to Blaine while he was knocked out in a hospital?

And why the secrecy anyway? That would be something he'd have to solve when he got out of this place. And where were they going anyway? Would they let him get his stuff from Blaine's room? He felt stupid now that he realized how much stuff was over there.

And then a thought occurred to him. It was his fault that Blaine was dead. If he wouldn't have tried to console him after Kurt broke up with him, he would've just transferred back to Dalton. Or if they weren't late that morning to the bus, maybe the morning would've gone different. If Sam were not a fucking black hole of misfortune and bad luck, Blaine would still be here. Blaine would be at his bedside, waiting for him to wake up.

What did the rest of his life look like now? Was he going to marry Blaine? Would they have had children? Hell, would they have made it to Prom? What kind of suits would they have worn? The questions kept coming and coming. He wouldn't have an answer for any of them.

He wouldn't be able to live out his life with Blaine. He wouldn't be able to find out if they would've made it or not. And now college and dances and successes and failures; all of that he would have to face down by himself.

And he hated it.

And he hated Blaine for leaving him here.

And he hated that **fucking** beeping noise.

And he hated that feeling that was burning in his chest. And now he finally understood why they called it heart break – because it felt like someone had their hand wrapped around your heart and was squeezing it.

No. It felt like there was a hole right where his heart should be. And nothing would ever be able to fill it.

His breathing quickened and so did that damn beeping. And his eyes became blurry and before he knew it he couldn't stop himself from crying. He put his forehead on the palms of his hands and began rocking as he began to uncontrollably weep.

And he didn't care the noises he was making or if he was disturbing the other rooms. Or if Blaine was looking down on him, embarrassed to have dated such a weak person. The feelings lurched through his body and somewhere between nausea and unbridled anger is where it decided to rest.

That's why he didn't bother to look up when he felt a soft, warm body wrap around him. And he couldn't smell the familiar vanilla perfume that she wore because he was sobbing through his nose. And he didn't care how embarrassing it was that he was becoming a mucus filled mess. All that he cared about was that Blaine was gone, and if God did exist; he hated him for taking Blaine away from him.

And the harder he sobbed – The tighter Quinn held him – And the more that _that_ solidified that Blaine was never going to hold him again.

* * *

><p>AN - The story will continue, and now that the most important part of my story is out of the way, the updates will be more frequent. I don't want to give away the rest of the story, but I do have the next several chapters planned out. Rates and Reviews are highly appreciated, especially because I don't use a beta. Thanks for sticking with me.

~Ash


	10. Take Care

"Mister Evans," he shifted awake, "If Rene Descartes is boring you, I'm sure you can work on these parabola problems in detention."

The class laughed at him as he adjusted to the reality of the fluorescent lights in the room, "Sorry, I didn't sleep much last night"

"Apparently," his teacher said with a cutting tone in her voice, "I wont tolerate sleeping in my class, detention, after school"

Sam groaned as the bell rang, most of the students already packed up as they exited the room. He quickly fumbled his belongings into his backpack, catching Mike on the way out.

"Mike," he said, pleading, "Do you think you could-"

Mike handed him a sheet of paper with meticulously written block letters and graphs, smirking, "I was taking an extra set of notes the second I saw you dozing off."

"You are a life saver," Sam replied gratefully, "Between Blaine's tutoring and your notes, my grades have really improved."

Blaine snuck up behind them, grabbing at Sam's ribs causing him recoil reflexively, "So you're saying I'm indispensible?"

"Something like that," Sam smirked, "I got detention just now, though"

Blaine frowned as he walked on the other side of Sam, looking at him, "What? Why?"

"He fell asleep in class," Mike said, "Not too soundly either."

Sam shot Mike a nasty look, sold him out before he could even lighten the blow. Blaine contorted his face from consternation to just concern, "Another nightmare?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "It's nothing, really."

Sam took his boyfriends hand as they walked down the hall, eventually turning into a classroom – When they found their seats, Sam did his best to deflect the concern that the brunette had on his face. It was hard to distract Blaine once that concern set in though. And Sam's nightmares had always been a catalyst for these worries.

Nightmares had been an issue for Sam his whole life, but they got particularly frequent and alarmingly vivid when the bad blood started boiling between Quinn, Blaine and Sam – And really, who can blame what had happened? Quinn was hurt, Sam was scared and Blaine, poor Blaine, was caught between a rock and a hard place.

Kurt and Blaine did not work out; a stack of kindling can create a mighty inferno – but – if there isn't a spark, it's nothing but a pile of work that produces no fire. And eventually they realized that the work they were putting into the relationship was forced. One direction. Sure, Blaine loved Kurt. How could you not love someone who you've been with for that long? But was he **in** love with him?

That answer became painfully clear when Kurt broke it off with Blaine. Especially when Kurt demanded an answer to questions that did not need to be asked. The discussion seemed to take place in an airlock; a weight pressed down on both of them. Blaine could not handle seeing the look that Kurt was making during the whole conversation.

When Kurt finally deduced that it was Sam, that every lingering glance that Blaine gave him was one of longing, he simply stood up and left Blaine sitting in the cafeteria. Kurt came around eventually, saying that college needed to take priority and that it was for the best they stay friends – His acceptance into several smaller arts colleges and a support network like Finn, Rachel and Mercedes made him realize that the future held something promising for him, with or without Blaine. Still, it took many weeks before Kurt could say something more than a few words to either Blaine or Sam.

It wasn't that Sam had done anything to actually mess with Kurt, but there was still a feeling of jealousy, even though it had taken even longer for the two to get together. And when Quinn came into the choir room a few weeks later, holding back tears, Kurt and Quinn leaned on each other to get over the betrayal their hearts felt.

And if there was one thing Sam hated more than the fear he felt from finally coming out, it was hurting someone he loved as much as he did. And for a while after that Sam could not look Kurt OR Quinn in the eyes. Kurt was the first to break the silence, with the upcoming sectionals competition just days away he knew that the team needed to be cohesive in order to be successful.

– – –

Sam was surprised when Kurt put his tray on the table, staring Sam and Blaine in the face. Both of them felt sheepish and embarrassed; though there was nothing they need feel ashamed by. He sat next to Sam, across from Blaine – thinking it better to establish that he wasn't there to move in on Blaine, no, that ship had sailed.

"Hi," Blaine said timidly

Kurt shook his head softly, "We need to come to an understanding," he started, "We wont win at sectionals unless we're all in this together."

Blaine nodded his head – Sam turned to look at Kurt, "I never meant for any of this to happen," he started.

Again, Kurt shook his head, "You guys did nothing wrong – It's just hard, y'know?"

"Is there anything else we can do," Blaine started to ask.

"No," Kurt cut him off," I came to you guys because this is killing me," He looked over at Blaine, "I didn't just lose a boyfriend, I lost my best friend."

"You broke up with me, Kurt," he countered, feeling like he got punched in the gut, "I asked you if you wanted to make it work."

Kurt looked off into the distance, his jaw line gritting with anger, or sadness, Sam wasn't quite sure, "I saw the way that you looked at him," he said quietly, "And Sam, you didn't know it, but you looked at him the same way."

Sam felt guilty – Which was frustrating, he did not want to feel guilty about something that felt so right. He was starting to get really strong feelings for Blaine and his parents knew, and the Glee club knew, so why did it still feel like a big weight was on his shoulders?

"I'm not going to apologize for being with Blaine," Sam said curtly, "But I will apologize for hurting you. You're a great person Kurt, I would never want to do that to you."

Kurt looked down, disappointed with himself, "I know," he responded dejectedly, "I want us all to be friends again. I miss talking to you both, other than Finn, you two are the closest guys I'm friends with."

"I want us to be friends too," Blaine said at last, "But only if you're going to be ok with us being together."

Kurt seemed resigned to that, "Look," he sighed, "I know I've been cold the last few weeks or so, but I needed time to process it all."

"And?" Sam asked, gentleness in his voice.

"And," Kurt continued, "If I love either of you as much as I claim to, then it shouldn't matter who you're happy with, as long as you're happy."

Sam smiled. So did Blaine. For the first time since they started dating, Sam felt as if that constant weight was lifted from his shoulders – He turned and hugged Kurt in his seat, Blaine getting up to walk over and hugged both of them. For the first time in awhile, Kurt smiled.

"Alright, alright," Kurt chuckled, swatting them away, "We're all friends again, knock it off."

Blaine and Sam laughed from their stomachs as the brunette took his seat again. They caught up on the last few weeks as if none of the awkwardness happened; As for Kurt, each time they sat together, and they texted and hung out, he was able to put it behind him and stop cursing the day that Blaine met him.

– – –

"You really should talk to someone about your nightmares, Sam," Blaine nagged, "Especially if you're not going to talk to me about it."

"Babe," Sam said, becoming irritated, "Trust me, I'm fine – I've had them for a long time, I know how to handle this."

The bell rang across the classroom, signaling the start of 2nd period health class. This was one of Sam's favorite classes because it was one of two that he had with Blaine. Blaine was in a lot of Advanced Placement classes, which Sam could not quite grasp, especially Math and English. History however? Advanced Placement U.S. History was his other favorite – and incidentally the other class he shared with his boyfriend.

Sam would study with Blaine, and commit facts to memory by imitating and impersonating the leaders and persons that the text talked about – He was particularly proud of his John F. Kennedy and Winston Churchill impersonations, the latter of which had Blaine in stitches the first time he had ever tried it.

And it was movie day – That means they did not have to pay attention, right? He looked over at Blaine who was taking notes with fierce discipline. The frown that extended across Sam's lips would've been comical had he not been so disappointed that they were on such different wavelengths.

That is, until, Sam placed his hand on Blaine's knee – The brunette tensed up, feeling the gentle fingers through his slacks as Sam slowly dragged his fingertips up his inner thigh. Blaine looked at Sam with a look of disapproval and tried to move his hand away – Sam smirked that devilish smirk he got and went right back to Blaine's thigh, inching it so painfully slowly to his lover's groin.

The video droned on and on about how important the digestive system was in regards to vegetables and fruits, and blah blah blah, this was all stuff that Sam already knew from gym class and from working out the majority of his teenage life. Blaine became incensed when Sam's hand finally met his groin, the heat of Sam's hand meeting the heat of Blaine's body.

Blaine smiled and raised an eyebrow, as he continued to take notes as if Sam wasn't affecting his thoughts or judgment, "Sam, stop," he whispered quietly, chuckling nervously between pleas, "You're going to get us in trouble."

Sam did not respond in any way other than putting pressure on Blaine's junk, causing the boy to sit upright in his seat. He stopped writing and grabbed Sam's wrist futilely, as Sam clearly had more arm strength than him. It wasn't often that he could make Blaine feel nervous like this and he reveled in it. Blaine whimpered as Sam continued exploring the front of his boyfriend's pants, "Please," he looked at him with those puppy dog eyes that helped him always get his way, "I'll do anything."

The magic words – Sam stopped immediately, still in Blaine's grasp. A simple nod was all Sam had to do in order to get Blaine to let go, "I'll hold you to that," Sam said quietly, before bringing his hand to the table and pretending to take notes of his own.

The rest of the period wasn't nearly as fun for Sam, and Blaine would not admit it, but he wasn't really entertained either. They took their notes, exchanging cute little letters and drawings throughout. The end of the period came all too quickly – As Blaine and Sam packed up, Sam turned to his boyfriend, "We're going off campus for lunch, right?"

Blaine put his health book and spiral bound into his pack, zipping it and flinging it over his shoulder, "Of course," he said with his beaming smile, "But we gotta get through the next couple of periods first."

– – –

As Sam daydreamed in fourth period English class, his thoughts shifted to a variety of topics. Nationals. Have to worry about Nationals. And his boyfriend. Then of course getting another job, since Blaine insisted that he could not strip ("That's one thing I want all to myself!") – Sam never imagined it would have come this far. If you had told him this time last year that he was going to be with another boy, he would have laughed at you.

Sam's time at Dalton, though short, changed all that – Though he did not know it at the time. He transferred to the all boys' school before the economy collapsed. His parents were making decent money and with his dyslexia, Dalton offered individual attention he just could not get anywhere else.

It seemed just like any other school – Kind of sucked that there were no girls around, but every night was like a sleepover with your friends. It wasn't too bad at the boys school either, every month they would have dances with the all-girls boarding school Carmel.

Then one day, Blaine Anderson walked into his classroom – Sam remembered he was small. Mousy. His hair unruly and frizzy. If Sam had not known better, he would have sworn that he thought the boy was cute. Blaine was withdrawn. Quiet. Sam couldn't help but look at him, observe him like a scientist would observe an experiment.

It felt like magnetism that drew Sam to Blaine and so it didn't particularly feel weird (though he didn't quite understand why) when he sat down at the empty table that Blaine was at in the lunchroom that day.

"Hi," Sam said, a toothy grin filling his mouth – Blaine looked at him, reservation in his eyes and in his posture, "I am Sam – Sam I am, and I do not like green eggs and ham."

Blaine smiled weakly, "Uh, h-hi," he stammered, "I'm Blaine."

"Where did you transfer from?" Sam asked, diving into his food nonchalantly, "We have history together, that's kind of cool."

"I, uh," Blaine seemed taken aback, "I-I'm gay."

Blaine had not meant for it to come out like that. So quickly. So sudden. But after what happened at the last school, he had to make sure he was friends with the right people. Sam thought back to the day after the competition – the heartfelt confession was so relevant now as he reflected on his time with Blaine at Dalton.

In fact, Sam wasn't sure why he felt particularly nostalgic today – But he thought back to the days they did homework back at Dalton. The nights staying up late giggling and reading comic books and talking about Harry Potter.

"So?" Sam said, with a smile, "It's an all boys school – What do you think goes on here?"

"Does that mean," Blaine said slowly, scanning the cafeteria for an audience that didn't exist, "Does that mean you're gay too?"

Sam twisted his face up confused, contemplatively – And then he shrugged, "Never really thought about it," the blonde said plainly.

Blaine took that as an answer, because really, he wasn't really sure why he asked in the first place. Blaine's plan was to keep his head low, get through the next three and a half years of high school and go to college in a big city away from all of this. It was bad enough that the bullying incident was going to hold him back a year, but the fact that his parents were so paranoid they made him transfer schools was adding salt to an open wound.

But Sam persisted. Eating lunch together turned into studying after class together. Studying became hanging out. Hanging out became sleepovers (with the headmasters permission, and grades permitting) for which Sam made sure to stay on top of his grades. Days turned into weeks and weeks had turned into months. Blaine had been at Dalton three months when Sam decided he would make a move.

– – –

The bell rang, echoing throughout the class as Sam all but rushed out to the parking lot – They weren't _supposed_ to go off campus for lunch, but that didn't stop them. Blaine and Sam took off like a bolt as soon as they reached the car, heading to a local greasy burger joint.

Blaine paid, much to Sam's chagrin, and they found a small booth on the end. Last time they were out they were a bit rushed and Blaine wasn't nearly as cheerful as he looked now. Sam talked about history class, in his own silly accents and Blaine talked about songs he was thinking of for Nationals.

A fryer in the kitchen began a steady beeping to let the cooks know the French fries were done and it caused Sam to feel uneasy – The cooks took their time to get to the incessant trill that buzzed through the air and it noticeably broke the momentum of their conversation.

"Sam?" Blaine asked quietly, "Hey, is everything ok?"

He snapped back to reality, shaking his head as if shaking off sand or dust, "Uh, yeah, sorry."

Blaine frowned, "I wish you would talk to me about what's going on."

"There's nothing going on, Blaine," he lied, "I'm just a little distracted is all."

"You've been acting weird since we got back from regionals," Blaine said, "And I think it has to do with those nightmares."

Sam immediately felt defensive; he had nightmares for a while now, but nothing like this. His nightmares never _continued_ - And he hardly ever remembered them. Even now, it was still hazy, yet still more vivid than any in the past. All he knew is that whenever he thought about the dreams it made his heart heavy, "Blaine, please."

Blaine reached his hand across the table, motioning for Sam's hand – Sam reluctantly put his hand on the table, and they hooked their little fingers.

The first time they ever hooked their fingers like this was when Sam was coming out to Glee club the first time – He decided to tell the group by singing Rocket Man. His voice quivered and shook as Quinn and the others looked on. Thank God Mercedes wasn't there or it might have been too much to bear. As he approached the bridge, his whole body trembling from fear and anxiety, Blaine walked up beside him and hooked his little pinky with his own. The anxiety seemed to wash away when they stood like that, Blaine adding harmony to Sam's melody.

And that became 'their thing' – Whenever one of them was scared or distressed, the other would hook their pinky fingers and bring each other back to reality. Sam sighed before looking Blaine dejectedly in the face, "You're right," he started, "The nightmares have been getting worse."

Blaine's face turned into one of concern, "What have you been dreaming about? Why has it bothered you so much?"

Sam shook his head, "I'm not sure," he said, going on, "All I remember is that I'm in a hospital."

He continued with a sigh, "Like, I wake up and I'm in a hospital bed, and for some reason you're not there."

That was the truth – Sam didn't recall why Blaine wasn't there in the hospital room with him, all that he knew was that it bothered him. He didn't _want_ to think about it.

"I'll always be here for you, Sam," he promised, tightening his little finger, "It's just a nightmare, it isn't real."

Sam nodded his head, "I know, you're right. It just feels real, y'know?"

"I've heard dreams are supposed to be a metaphor, maybe something else is on your mind," Blaine supposed

"Well, I don't know what it can be," Sam started, "But I'm glad you're talking to me about it – if it comes up again, I promise I'll talk to you about it."

The conversation steered itself away from the dreams, as Blaine seemed satisfied by Sam's answer. Back to pop culture references and video games, lunch break ending as swiftly as it came. The monotony of the day setting in for the final periods of the day after he kissed Blaine goodbye and headed off to English – A class he struggled through but got help from his classmates and spent the most time out of class on. The day seemed to drone on, and Sam was sad that at the end of the day Blaine ended up going home instead of staying over, but his parents were pretty incensed that he stayed the night in the first place. Sam dropped him at home and did his usual routine when he got home, making dinner while he struggled through his homework – Stevie and Stacie begging him to watch one more cartoon before they had to get started on their own homework. His dad was home first, helping him to cook dinner and wrangle the kids while he tried to focus on the plights of a one Hester Prynne.

Frankly Sam didn't understand the big deal was, he wondered what someone like Sam would have gone through in her time. If they didn't like a woman who did what she did, what would they think of a man who was with another man? He was thankful he was born in a time like this, where he could be free to be with Blaine. Sam struggled through the book through dinner and through family time, wanting to grasp the story as best as he could. If he kept his grades up, Blaine would likely be allowed to stay the night again and frankly, that would be awesome.

Sam only stopped reading when he showered to get ready for bed – his thoughts on the events of the day crossing with the book he was reading. The shower washed away the frustrations and the sheer length of the day, relaxing Sam as he cleaned himself, his shaggy blonde hair falling into his eyesight.

He toweled off, opting only to wear a low ride pair of sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his Achilles' belt – he jumped onto bed, over the covers, and continued reading about the plights of Hester and brainstormed ideas on how to connect her plights to being with another boy – He was sure it would make for a good paper and if the weight of his eyelids weren't betraying him already, he would have got a jump start on his paper instead of sinking into the comfort of his pillow.

* * *

><p>AN - I feel strangely connected to this piece. I haven't really seen any project through and yet I keep coming back to this guy, It's still getting hits, even a year after I posted the last update and that means the world to me. Honestly what kept me coming back were the reviews and the kind words of the people who read this story - I know Blam is a home for a lot of people, a happy, nerdy home and I'm hoping that this very real and serious piece has a home within the fandom. I've been shipping Blam for a long time and it is so very important that the people who ship them with me are with me in this endeavor, So I thank everyone for reading this and sticking with me. I have an outline of where I want this story to go and I look forward to taking the next steps together.

-Ash


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